Vin T.
Yelp
SKIP THE FRUITCAKE THIS (AND EVERY) CHRISTMAS
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For months they have been lying in wait. Rectangular blocks lurking in the forgotten corners of homes and factories, their overweight bodies bulging with violently colored red and green "fruit" and suspect "nuts". In December they start appearing in the mail from coworkers, distant relatives, and loose acquaintances. There is no escape, it is the season of the fruitcake.
Back in the 18th and 19th centuries, the idea of baking fruit and nuts into batter spread like wildfire. The fruitcake became a high-end delicacy reserved for weddings, holiday gatherings, and other very special occasions. During this time, it also became the lazy man's go-to holiday gift.
It was in the mid-20th century that the fruitcake began to fall from grace. Johnny Carson observed live on-air: "The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other." A few years later on the same show, Jay Leno and Mel Gibson baked a fruitcake together -- a decidedly low point on it's path to culinary obsolescence.
Robotically mass-produced, tasteless, and unable to compete with the likes of Yule Log, Christmas pudding, or even sugar cookies... fruitcake has since been the subject of considerable ridicule. It has been used in countless ways other than re-gifting (i.e. to fuel the fire, drop anchor, or create a fetch toy/tree stand/doorstop).
But is the anti-fruitcake sentiment ill-conceived hate-bandwagoning? With the right modern pastry chef and ingredients... much like the re-invention of Twinkies, Food Trucks, and Pabst Blue Ribbon... there may come a time when fruitcake again reigns supreme.
Until then, play it safe. Despite the fruitcake's centuries-old tradition, you're better off avoiding the controversy altogether and serving your out-of-town guests a Susie's Vanilla Celebration, Southern Red Velvet, or Old-Fashioned 6-Layer Chocolate Cake. And get some Flourless Mini Cupcakes or Sugar Cookies for snacking while you're at it. Everything that we've tried here is fresh and delicious.
Pro tip: It was only 7 years ago that Susie Sarich opened her first bakery in Brentwood CA. These home-style desserts are made in-house daily with simple and fresh ingredients based on her grandmother's handwritten 3×5 card recipes. Nobody knows what happened to Grandma's fruitcake recipe card... it went fortuitously missing years ago.