Dan L.
Yelp
Dear World,
In September, I visited Ohio to attend Nine Inch Nails' "Fan Day" at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland -- and then catch the band's subsequent concert near Akron, where I was staying.
Just before leaving Akron for Cleveland, I saw Sweet Mary's Bakery across the street. I knew the best way to say "thank you" to the band and staff for staging such an awesome event was by providing top-notch baked goods. Every true NIN fan is aware of two things: 1) When Trent Reznor sings "I wanna feel you from the inside," he's speaking to, and about, a chocolate chip cookie, and 2) Trent really, really loves rainbows.
I asked the friendly staff at Mary's for a dozen assorted cookies -- and, if possible, one with the band's logo customized with frosting on top. Could they do that in, say, 15 minutes? Ohio's cookie experts were up for what I clearly didn't understand was an insane request.
That customized cookie (pictured) replicated the logo exactly. Like the others purchased, it almost certainly achieved the perfect balance of sweetness and softness -- or at least that's what I assume, based off the smile of the band's staff photographer/social media person.
Later, I approached fans/RRHOF staff with a few leftovers. Many used words like "fantastic" and "delicious," or simply asked where the bakery was located.
Some more memorable comments (though my recollection is a little foggy, so these may not be the actual events):
"Need you. Dream you. Find you. Taste you," one fan said, munching on and muttering to his cookie. "Love you."
"I WANT A LITTLE BIT! I WANT A TASTE OF IT!" another yelled, unable to control himself. "BITE! CHEW!"
Though I was slightly afraid the man would bite the hand that fed him, I offered the box anyway; he politely took a treat, ate it, and smiled.
"Now doesn't that make you feel better?" I asked. He nodded and said he could finally sleep soundly -- that everything was all right.
Though I had a race the next day, I finally tried a cookie myself -- and realized I had stumbled upon the best bakery in all of Ohio.
"This is the only time I really feel alive," I said to no one in particular.