Richard Smart
Google
After the first bite, I had visions of burgers and fries storming the capitol of my stomach. I blacked out momentarily, and then proceeded to vomit all over myself.
It was amazing. Intense, but this is what I wanted.
After what seemed like 4 years, I gave it another shot. Why not? What's the worst that could happen?
Sometimes I rip off my steering wheel while driving and throw it out the window just to shake things up. "TAKE THE WHEEL JEESUS" I yell as I fly off the edge of yet another cliff.
I live my life this way, I vote this way, I raise my family this way. If I ever thought or cared about the consequences of my actions, would I really be FREE? 👊🇺🇸🔥
Well, I digress.
After eating another bite, I immediately felt it. It was as if it started gutting my gut DOGE style. No tact, no planning, just wreckless purging as if my burger desperately wanted to cut essential programs in order to give tax breaks to the wealthy.
But, being the patriot I was, I convinced myself it was just deporting the "bad hombres" from my system to clean me out.
I was wrong. it went straight for my "Habeus Corpus" (if you know what I mean) as if it was acting with unchecked unitary executive power to lord over my system like a mad king taking bribes and abusing his power.
"Trust the process" I tell myself as I bend over and let it rocket from both ends.
Thankfully, it ended by completely violating my bodily constitution and my rug. Everything is covered in a thick orange sludge that looks suspiciously like a swamp. But it's MY swamp, so I LOVE it.