James C.
Yelp
My dad happened to get a room at the Tanque Verde Ranch via insurance, after we had a serious garage fire. I was genuinely optimistic about getting my dad checked in there, after the traumatic experience. I had heard generally good things about the location, and even had a friend who used to work there as a horse wrangler.
My dad stayed at, "Mi casa- su casa." There were supposed to be kitchen amenities as part of the room... all I can say is, at least there was a fridge. The room had no microwave, no toaster, knives that wouldn't cut butter, a very dinky coffee maker, and a stove top that looks like it was built in the 1970's. There is no TV. My dad went back to his house, and got a TV and a coffee maker. We told our insurance people the situation, and they convinced the front desk to send a microwave to the room. My dad said, "man, if I were paying full price for this place...I would feel pretty ripped off." At least, there is wi-fi, so that was good. Restaurant is way overpriced.
Bad experience with the horse riding too:
I spent last summer in Ohio riding horses. For four months, I loped bareback onto a stage, every single day as part of an outdoor drama I did. I also took seven two-hour long western saddle style riding lessons while there. And, I was voted most improved rider at the end of the four months. I would describe my horse riding experience as an experienced beginner, to an intermediate level rider after this four month intensive.
They have a free "lope check" here, to make you eligible to do some rides. So I thought, why not check it out?
It is off season here in Tucson, so maybe that is why this was such a negative experience. But it is surely poor business practice, even in off season, to treat a guest this way.
I arrived at 6:45 am (as recommended) to sign a "don't- sue-us" waiver. No problem there. The nice lady at the front gives me instructions on how to get over to the horse riding area. Here's where things got interesting.
I walk into the horseback riding area around 6:55am: nobody there. I walk through the back doors to the stable area...nobody there. I look around for a while, and I find a guy there working on a buckskin horse. Nice guy. He's just a contractor there he explains. We get to chatting a bit, and he explains he is from CA. After a while, I say, "listen, I'm here for a lope check...do you know who I might ask for help with that?" He goes, "oh!" and looks over at where people are supposed to be helping me already. "Yeah um, let me see where those girls are at. Proctastinating!" he says lightheartedly.
So the girls come around the corner. Immediately, I am instructed to get on a horse they have saddled. Nice to meet you too? I pat the horse for a second, trying to get a feel for what the heck kind of horse I am going to be riding. A fairly typical thing for a person trying to lope a horse to do, I imagine. The girls are chatting between themselves at this point. At best, I seem to be somewhat of an inconvenience.
I attempt to ask some questions about the horse to help me feel a bit more comfortable (it's been about a year since I've ridden a horse). No time for that buddy! Next thing, I am being led over to a riding ring. Both girls are still having their conversation. Aren't I a guest at your ranch? I already signed your waiver, so don't worry I won't be suing you anyways. Is this how you treat a guest doing the lope check? It's off season. Shouldn't that be a fine time for guests to come ride your horses, and maybe even get some EXTRA attention from your employees? Instead, I got the cold shoulder.
The girl does one example of what I am supposed to do. Trot, then lope. Then she says, "ok, your turn." It feels like a job interview. I don't get a warm-up lap? Just show up at 7am, and lope this horse you've never met before? Perhaps if I were a professional rider, or rode horses everyday myself, I could. The level of experience I had may have been somewhat inadequate, but I sure wasn't being given the benefit of the doubt! I have the guts to try to lope a horse, so clearly I'm not a total novice...
I go for it. The stirrup is too long on one side. I don't feel like asking her to adjust it again. I eventually get the horse up to a lope speed for maybe a second or two on my third lap. It feels good to be loping on a horse again. The ladies inform me I have failed the lope test. What a huge surprise! I can though, they inform me, take a lesson or do a walking ride.
We make our way back up, and I hop off the horse. I know neither of the names of the two trainers. And they sure as hell don't know mine when I walk out. I wave goodbye to the guy from CA. I am sitting back in my car by 7:14am.
Won't be recommending this place to friends or family. And I certainly I won't be shelling out hundreds of dollars for one of your hour long horse riding attractions any time soon. My dad asked the insurance to find him an Air bnb, ASAP. He was there for about one week.