Mike S.
Yelp
"Pastitsio and three?," no... "Greek and three?," no, either ... It's rather hard to describe Ted's, a bona fide Birmingham institution that just clocked in a half century recently. But since the iconic sign outside that screams 1960s/1970s kitsch features a clock that stopped working ages ago as legend has it, a good motto might be "We're right at least twice a day on the clock and once a day for you at lunchtime!" For it is a cafeteria that is in a prime position to capitalize on the booming UAB business.
I have not got time to go into its history, so I will leave it to the web profiles about the place's two different Greek families that have owned it, the Sarrises and the Touloupises. I do know that it is a reliable stop off I-65 on my route to a weekly engagement in Shelby County without me having to settle for greasy fast food or so-so fast casual. And besides, Ted's ought to own the trademark for fast casual: cafeterias are a dying breed, but that very fact reminds us why we should do our best to support them. Buffets are notoriously unclean and fattening and not a proper substitute, in my book. I like local things, as well, so Ted's is perfect for my purposes.
The speed is evident when you get to the steam table. About three to four entrees and a dozen sides are all there. The sides are Southern staples: squash casserole, greens, lima beans, cabbage, and the like. But the Greek influence is present in unusual entrees like pork souvlakia made with oregano and butter, chicken with Greek spices, and pastitsio, that nation's answer to Italian lasagna. Ted's features the béchamel sauce cooked on top of a mixture of beef sauce spiced with cinnamon and probably oregano and spaghetti, no doubt a cheaper but effective alternative to tubular pasta that the classic recipe calls for.
That was my choice, along with cabbage and collard greens. Makes for a great school lunch, doesn't that combination? I do not know of any school anywhere on this great planet that would go to this expense to serve top-quality chow, though, and you do not either. It is delightfully different, filling, and decently-priced. What more could one ask for?
The interior is just as old-school as the cinder-block structure and the sign, sans the updating of recent years. Do be aware that the speed comes with a price in that this is probably not an ideal place for a casual ladies' lunch or anything in that vicinity. Not quite "eat it and beat it," however, though. Just be mindful of the tight quarters if you are claustrophobic.
And the meal ended with a pleasant surprise: you get a discount if you pay cash. I happened to have some I needed to spend down, so I will definitely make note of it for the next time. Now, if the fried chicken is as good as the pastitsio was, I will never want to go to another meat-and-three.