Umbert L.
Yelp
I've lived in and around west rogers park all my life. I don't keep kosher but i have a few friends who do, compelling me to eat at the neighborhood's small assortment of kosher restaurants several times a year.
Tel Aviv has cruised along in its odd mediocre niche for at least twenty years now. Incredibly, the place seems to get a little worse each sucessive year, while somehow remaining a step above truly bad.
The decor? Harsh fluorescent lighting and cafeteria style tables, alongside cozy looking booths that are ripped and stained from years of neglect. So it's a diner with character, is it? Nah, not really. There's nothing endearing about the neglect. There isn't a colorful cast of regulars on hand - it's mostly deserted after 8PM, apart from the surly delivery guy n one booth and the sullen man behind the counter.
True to its ambience, the food on hand is greasy and cheap. And a few random items are somehow tasty year in and year out - i will always be a sucker for the Luny Tuna Sandwich, a tuna melt where the bread appears to have been fried. The falafel is passable (much better next door at Taboun). The pizza puffs are curious misshapen but greasily satisfying.
However, I MUST caution the public against experimenting with the "Pizza." In Chicago, a town famous for pizza, there's no excuse for Tel Aviv's sad attempt at pie. Thin crust with zero crunch, soft as white bread toast, the cheese tasting closer to Kraft than mozarella, all bathed in an odd garlicy oil that leaves a sour aftertaste. Want vegetable toppings on that? No problem; they'll peel the cheese up from the pre-made pies they use for all orders, throw some raw vegetables underneath, and set it in the oven for two or three minutes.
As others have noted, the staff seems angry and confused, as if they were tricked into working there against their will. what's up with that?
Two stars anyway. Hey, they're open till 11 PM in that boring, family-centric neighborhood. And they do a few things passably - that Luny Tuna, the hummous/falafel sandwich and/or platter, and an oddly flavored but not terrible macaroni and cheese. Skip the pre-frozen fries and onion rings, by the way. if you must have a side order, go for the nachos.