Jefa I.
Yelp
The Legendary Heartbreak Alley...it has a life of its own. Since the early 90's, it has given life to a town that needs all the livelyhood it can get. Sad will be the day the doors shutter, to party no more. In memory, many epic debauched nights were spent in this place. Yes, there is a distinct, palpable criminal element to a small subgroup of its patrons, and that is merely a historic part of its attraction. To complain mean you don't belong, that you cannot relate to, or understand the "fly flashy just a little broke borderline tacky, but fuck you - I'm ballin" mentality of this crowd. You will not enjoy yourself here, if you haven't embraced the inner rachet that lies within us all. What's that, you say? The inner rachet is a cry from your soul that supercedes and defies race, age, gender, or class. It feels black, and hood and hip hop but its greater than that. The inner rachet is the insistence and determination to have a raucously and sometimes messy good time, dammit, because you deserve it and life is fvcking hard no matter who you are. So you turn the fvck up and bless the heart of any fool that decides to spoil the night. Only in The Alley, will you will see the true essence of who the Seven Cities are: the gritty post industrial desperado gangland chic of Newport News, the preppy collegiate chill and lazy Sunday vibe of Hampton, the ghetto fabulous street boldness of Portsmouth, the slick southern port city vintage swagger of Norfolk, the bohemian fun loving weed scented vibes of VA Beach kids, and the sweet neighborly charm of Chesapeake. All of that beauty in one place. You will see and hear it as an audio-visual work of art melded into this scene, expressed thru unique dance styles, local fashion trends, regional dialects. You will be touched, talked to and smiled at (but only if you initiate and reciprocate) and treated like family in this place. Some of the most raw talented and creative people on the entire east coast gather here. I've seen lives changed (including my own but that's another story), hearts broken, and lasting bonds made here. This is CGBG, our Tunnel, our Roxy and you should respect it. For many years, the Alley was all that side of the Peninsula had after the closing of the Mirage, 1851, Sugar Hill and other so called "hole in the walls" where people could chill after work and relax among family and friends. So locals are natually territorial and defensive about their patronage of it, and rightfully so. There have been more attempts to close this place down than missions to stop ISIS. Major celebrities come here when they want to party, be embraced and at home and never worry for their safety...ask Queen Latifah! The drinks are strong delicious and worth every cent, and the staff are trained to accommodate those who are patient and well mannered. Come with an open mind, room in your tummy for them WANGS and a bullshit free attitude and I promise you'll have a great time. If something bad happens talk to the owners before the police and you'll see that gets you a better resolution. You have to leave your issues at the door or you WILL get into some shit and it won't be pretty. This is not Cheers, nor the bar to drown your sorrows. Norm and them are over at Power Plant or Harpoons and you should join em if that's what you want. This place is for party people who like all subgenres of hip hop, r&b, and world music and they want to see and be seen while they twerk to it. And twerk they will, in the way only local girls do to a booming trap beat. Best believe, the spirit of the Alley is embedded in the city of Newport News, and the people of the city know how to party. We defined turn up long before the phrase existed. The Alley/Bad News VA is the stuff that movies are made of and one should be honored to be a part of the scene where stars come and hide to be themselves. The acceptance is real and the crowd is very brown, beautiful and southern sexy. It's an acquired taste, but take a sip you might like it! I believe it should be mandatory for newbies to the area to make a trip to the Alley so they can get a good tipsy understanding of the place they are now calling home. Also, ladies, do engage in bathroom chat in the mirror with clubgoers. The conversation in there ranges from comedy gold to theraputic, depending on the hour to drink ratio. 80% of the crowd knows each other from work, school, or play, so consider that a blessing and a warning all wrapped up in one. If you can't tell from my tone, just know that The Alley is a part of my youth, my cultural experience as a native Virginian, as vital as my upbringing. The Alley is great, it is important and it is special. You must go. Y'all have fun now, hear?