Lily W.
Yelp
SHORTY GOT A BIG OLE BUTT.... OH YYYEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!! Oh Dirty Sixth, where do I start?
WAIT! I KNOW! I'll start by mentioning that once upon a time when I was very VERY newly single about a year ago I ran into all of the team USA male Olympic swimmers here. Yes, I ran into Nathan Adrian, Matt Grevers, Ricky Berens, Conor Dwyer, and of course RYAN LOCHTE. It was an odd night, filled with going shot for shot with swimmers all 6'4 or taller and screaming "BIG TEN PRIDE HOLLLLAAAAA!!!!" with them (Michael Phelps was not in attendance, but I have stories from college involving him... ask me about them some time). That's also probably why my memories are a bit blurry and disjointed in nature. Oh well, you really only do live once and hey, it's an excellent party story.
With that said, it seems like every time I end up at Aquarium, when I'm actually drinking, I make the ill advised drunken decision to dance on top of the bar. Let's just say that this ain't my first rodeo, so when someone mentions Dirty Sixth I always make sure I'm wearing boyshort or hipster underwear because there really isn't anything tackier than dancing on a bar wearing a thong; yes, I said it.
This place seems to pick up after midnight like clockwork. Prior to 12AM it's deserted and at the stroke of midnight suddenly there's a monster line to get in. I don't do lines, it's not my thing and as Courtney W will testify, I'm very efficient at picking my way to the front of a line. However it gets ridiculously packed on the first floor. I wonder if this is some sort of fire code violation, but whatever, no one else seems to care. Maybe that's why I dance on the bar.... because there's no room to dance anywhere on the floor.
The bathrooms aren't too bad, but then again I'm not inclined to use the facilities at places like this unless absolutely necessary. The last time I was there, a group of girls ambushed me and wouldn't stop touching my hair and exclaiming over my red lipstain; oh to be young and amazed by the world. I totally remember doing that as an 18... errr I mean 21 year old in college.
The thing is, my love for crowded bars with cheap and bad shots has faded with age. The last time I was here I got hit on by some questionably 21 year old guy whose pickup line was "Hey cutie, let me holla at you for a second." Errrr no, I am too grown to be dealing with that mess. I feel kind of like the jaded, disenchanted older sibling watching these young kids frolic around when I'm sober. However, lucky for me, I'm Asian and somehow still look 18 years old which of course makes it seem perfectly acceptable when I lose my senses and climb onto the bar.
Yeah, unfortunately by the time I moved to Austin, I was already too old for places like the Aquarium and the rest of Dirty Sixth. It's still a fun place for those occasional, trashy drunk nights but it's not a regular haunt for me. However, Dirty Sixth is an Austin icon and hey, if you drop by the Aquarium you too may see an Olympic swimmer.