Jon F.
Yelp
Soooo, imagine you have this kinda creepy uncle who has this big house, where he lives all alone. You only get to see him on the holidays, and the other family members aren't too keen about you being left alone with him for more than 20 minutes at a time. You know its not right, but you can't resist, I mean, he has the best jukebox in town!
The Falcon is the bar this uncle builds in his basement.
Super narrow and neighborhoody, I have been addicted to the Falcon since going there for the first time more than a year ago. Become a regular there, and you can die a happy man.
The drinks are the cheapest I have found, outside of my refrigerator, and quite stiff. You might actually wince once or twice when you order the $3 rum and coke. This differs markedly from my last experience, say at The Abbey, where I was forced to wade through a cadre of pretentious, overly-dressed, and furiously coiffed trendyfolk, just to get a $12 captain and COKE. I capitalize because it is really the best way to describe the portions in the glass.
But back to the Falcon, their Bartenders are awesome, knowledgeable, and face it....are all pretty hot in one way or another.
Even the morning shift, a duo of heartwarming octogenarian lesbians, can pour you a mean drink at 10:00 AM. Just don't diss the Price is Right. We know Drew will never be Bob...just let it go.
While you are there, don't forget to molest their digital jukebox before the guy who plays the old country songs gets there. Its helpful to put in a five-er just to protect the other patrons with some Madonna, Stevie Nicks, or Jimi Hendrix.
All in all, this is my home-base watering hole. I can always find someone interesting to talk to when I go there. Be it the 80 year old former hairdresser who tells stories of being gay in the speakeasies of the Noir Era, or the SUPER drink chick being thrown out to the waiting cab, you can ALWAYS find a stimulating conversation, and hopefully, even a free drink, at the Falcon.