Jack Sale
Google
This isn’t just a fire hydrant—it’s the Bette Davis of hydrants. The Joan Crawford of emergency water sources. The ultimate diva of public service. When San Francisco was engulfed in flames in 1906, every other hydrant in town folded faster than a drama queen in a poorly lit scene—totally unreliable. But not this one. Oh no. This golden goddess at 20th and Church stood firm, spraying water with the kind of grace and power that demands an Oscar—and maybe a Golden Globe, too.
Picture it: the city’s burning, chaos is everywhere, and just when all hope seems lost—WHAM! Enter the Golden Fire Hydrant, like Margo Channing in All About Eve, stealing the spotlight and saving the entire Mission District from becoming a charred memory. Other hydrants? Barely a cameo in the background. This hydrant? A lead role, darling. A survivor. A living legend.
And does she let you forget it? Absolutely not. Every April 18th, she gets a fresh coat of gold paint—because icons deserve nothing less. She’s not just a fire hydrant; she’s a statement. So, next time you stroll by, pause, give her a nod of respect, and maybe whisper, ‘Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a legendary hydrant.’ Without her, the Mission might’ve been reduced to ashes—and we’d have no taquerias, no Dolores Park, and no fabulous history to gossip about.
Long live the Golden Fire Hydrant—San Francisco’s first and only Hollywood icon! She deserves a star on the Walk of Fame. Period.