Vita L.
Yelp
I will preface my review with I am a single mom with two toddlers who booked this hotel because it stated it ranked high with families who brought children. I will now forever doubt the endorsement from Booking.com.
I have stayed in this building over the last 20 years under different business ownership. It has always been a "nice" place to stay. It is on Washington about half a mile before the beach. The area is not necessarily "nice", though gentrification would like you to think otherwise. I noticed the restaurants and bars of the past and a few new venues. The liquor store next store is still there with both dumpsters open for your window view.
The staff was amazing. From valet to front desk, they are by far the best part of The Kinney. I booked it a) because I wanted to visit my friends in Venice and b) because there was a pool with Jim Morrison painted across the courtyard. I moved to Venice in 2002 because of The Doors. I am a die hard fan. (That means I read all the books at least once and met all surviving band members).
The parking is ONLY valet, which is $25. I took our luggage up to the room. In the 5-10 minutes I got the kids in swim suits, the heat turned on and linked all my devices to wifi, we got a noise complaint because the kids were giggling. It was 5:30pm. I don't think there was even room to run. They were giggling and chatting. My kids are almost 2 and almost 4.
I told customer service I knew exactly the type of person complaining- we were headed to the pool and the kids would be asleep before 8. I then stated, "I am a school teacher. We must share the world with children." I didn't hear back from them again.
We went to the heated pool. It was modest sized, which honestly was kinda better with small children. I was holding one while the other was in floaties. The hot tub, also modestly sized, was packed with Millennials. One woman gave me the stink eye with her plastic cup of wine because my daughter was excited to be swimming by herself (with the floaties). Not everyone is a parent, so you may not understand how flipping FANTASTIC it is to watch your kid swim for the first few times. It is AMAZING. To, repeatedly, get a dirty look because my kid was so excited is so tacky and makes you look like such a self-absorbed, piece of shit of a person.
I thought about what Twilight Zone privileged Boomers and Millennials live in that all the pools and beaches would only ever be occupied by them. No children, no laughter- just assholes nursing a cocktail and talking about themselves. What a contribution to society!
So I made eye contact with the snooty "lady" and and gave her my own stink eye, which I assure you was 10 times crazier. I am a single mom. I am pissed most of the time.
FYI, no one was serving alcohol at the pool side bar.
They ended up clearing out and we enjoyed the hot tub with another family, who admitted they were happy to see us.
We all retired around 7 and ordered food while I tried to figure out the archaic cable TV system they had. The pop art, rotary phone and hipster vibe is very cool, but having to shuffle through 60 cable stations without any idea of what is playing on that channel felt like a bad memory from the 80s. I don't know why I expected a Smart TV or something. I found this horrible show called "Flirty Dancing" and ate it up until I accidentally hit the remote and was suddenly lost in a sea of drab content. I never found "Flirty Dancing" again. No closure with that second dance...
The beds and pillows were great. The coffee was excellent (you can order breakfast to be delivered by a certain time) (nothing vegan).
We woke up to the morning fog that killed Kobe Bryant and watched Dirty Dancing at dawn. Those with small children know you wake up at the crack of dawn no matter what your day/night was like before. The pool didn't open til 9am but I convinced my toddler to go to the beach first. The staff said they would allow us to come back and swim later that day and even let me bring a friend as to keep both children from drowning, which I 100% appreciate.
However, the glass tumblers and tall glass containers of VOSS were at toddler level and broke while I used the bathroom. No one was hurt but I was agitated glass items were lit and on display at knee level.
There was a blow dryer, a coffee maker, lights along the bed (I could not figure how to turn off and on) and Lather bath products, which I happen to love so much, I order them myself.
I was able to have food delivery without hassle. They even called as a courtesy to let me know it was on its way.
On the negative, I accidentally hit my ankle against the edge of the bed twice. I hate that. Can we hipster that out?
Here is a breakdown of my bill:
$193. 59 Room Retail Revenue (Nightly rate)
$25.00 Valet Parking (no self parking)
$27.10 Occupancy Tax
$2.90 Los Angeles Tourism Marketing District
$0.38 California Tourism Fee