Max F.
Yelp
It is rare as hell for me to have such a strange experience at a restaurant that I don't leave at least a four-star review. The Lighthouse Bar & Grill, conveniently located at Pontchartrain Landing if you're a guest there and inconveniently located at Pontchartrain Landing if you're not a guest there, is an exception to that rule. The keyword is "strange," not "bad."
I went there with three friends on a Tuesday night. We were the only people there other than the (minimal) staff. We went for dinner, not necessarily for drinks, though we got both. The drink options were limited, but they were pretty cheap, which was nice. The food options were more diverse, but they were somewhat more expensive. And everything that we ate was at most average.
Two of us ordered the same thing: the steak with the potatoes and something else that comes with it, steak medium-rare. Somehow, in both cases, the steak came out well-done. Where that got lost in translation, I couldn't tell you--our waitress was nice enough, though I sensed that she sometimes failed to understand what we were requesting to eat or drink, even though we were reading from a menu. Maybe she was new. She was nice. Okay. Anyway. I just remembered that the "something else that comes with it" was a gumbo that my friend took one bite of and said he would've returned it if we weren't his company (two of us were NOLA visitors, two longtime residents). I don't remember what the other non-local person got, but I know that I got
a) spinach and artichoke dip b) Caesar salad, no meat.
a) You know how spinach and artichoke dip just can't be bad? Because it's literally spinach, artichoke, a bunch of dairy products, and chips? Aka a bunch of amazing things melted in an oven and mixed together? The chips were the best part, and they were nothing special. To be clear, the dip wasn't bad. It was just melted cheese with spinach in it. It was ordinary, which by proxy and in this context is bad. Frankly, Lighthouse Bar & Grill should be fucking ashamed.
b) Caesar dressing isn't supposed to be sour, right? I'm not high, I think? Because this Caesar dressing was SOUR. Not bad, again, just sour, which was unexpected. It was still okay enough to eat, but like...no. Just no. No one wants a sour gosh dang mix of lettuce, parmesan, and croutons. The word you're looking for is "creamy."
It was bizarre, not bad, which is why this isn't a one-star review. Lighthouse provided me the most ordinary, inexplicable, verging-on-bad meal I've ever had. Since we were staying in the motorhome camp, we went back another night or two for frozen margaritas, which were actually pretty good, another reason this isn't a one-star review. Though it really should be a one-star review since the only news channel playing is Fox News, which was a way-too-right-wing TV channel even before the current "president" made it his propaganda arm littered with fake news and, when the news isn't fake, incredibly biased with bigoted takes and the most misguided views possible. I just got off-topic, sorry, but yeah, when you're in New Orleans go eat at a French Quarter classic like Cafe Du Monde (for beignets not meals), Mr. B's Bistro, Cane and Table, Killer Po Boys, Domenico's, Clover Grill, just not this. Unless you're staying at the RV camp, in which case, just go in with measured expectations and don't look at the TV that has the news on, the one with Weather Channel will give you a more realistic take on the world.