Joshua J.
Yelp
I had to laugh at my Sunday lunch at Mall Taven; easily the worst roast I've had in the 8 years I've lived in London.
It was a bitterly cold day, and despite only walking the 10 ft between where the taxi dropped us off and the front door, we were all freezing cold so as you can imagine were looking forward to a roaring fire, or at the very least, a warm room. Well, it was almost as cold inside as outside, and on asking our waitress to turn up the heat she replied that "once it fills up in here it'll get warmer."
Donning my coat, I ordered a beef roast, a bloody mary, and some chips (as did most of the table).
Beef roast was cold, meat was strangely square, unbelievably tough, and all sides were either awful (roast potatoes were bizarrely large and basically inedible), freezing, or both. We were having a good time so didn't exactly want to harsh our day by sending food back, but seriously anyone who ordered the roast left if largely untouched.
The waitress asked if we enjoyed our food, and it was then I decided to pour out my heart, applauding the chips, but held nothing back about the roast. Anyhow, after talking to her the manager saunters over, and we have to retell our disappointment (couldn't have the waitress just told the manager -- he's working but I'm having fun and don't particularly want to chat about shitty food to some dick). He doesn't apologize, and just walks off.
In recompense they take 1 beef off the bill and comp all drinks (i.e. 3 non-alcoholic juice drinks and 1 bloody mary) -- might I add the process of deliberating how to reduce our bill takes about 5 times too long. We inform the waitress that we will not be paying for any of the beef roasts, but are happy to pay for everything else, including the drinks we'd drunk and enjoyed. She disappears for another 10 minutes, a bill with no beef roasts, but now with drinks! If you are still reading this, you can imagine my indignation when it takes her another 5-8 minutes to bring the card machine to pay.
Not a single apology from any member of staff. Incredible.
As we left, we noticed the table behind us had sent back their roasts as well. We chatted with them, and found out they'd sent them back 3 times already. Twas not a good day for the Mall Tavern.