Brian R.
Yelp
Amazing ambiance. Great bar. Kitchen closed from 2:00p to 4:00p. Bartender didn't want to give me a menu to consider at 3:50p. Refused to give me the "specials" menu until 4:00p, even though I agreed that I would wait until 4:00p to order.
It's a PUB, bub.
The Swiss are known for their punctuality. The Brits? Bend an arm? Bend a rule, with a wink.
Star down.
At 4:00p, exactly, another bartender came up and took our orders, which must be obeyed at all ---- nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. This has to be an East German restaurant, with an amazing disguise.
We ordered the charcuterie board for two. We were told that it was BIG.
Really BIG.
Could feed FOUR.
Maybe feed Rhode Island!
Even after we ordered it, the Totally Swiss-style clock-watching bartender returned, to warn us of its bigosity.
When we told him that we feared not, he said: "Wow."
I asked: "Do y'all have a lift truck for this thing? Do we need to clear a couple of stools at the bar?"
I was worried that word, far and wide, would start to spread. That I'd turn to my left, and some lovely Dutch couple would be oddly smiling at me.
"We heard there'd be an order soon. We flew to Huntsville, to witness the fools who would fail to conquer it. Two astronauts tried, but no one talks about that, ever. Ask the Swiss-ish bartender. He'll tell you."
BIG.
It showed up.
Big board. Not a big selection. The poor runner who dropped it off? He couldn't even pronounce most of what was on it.
The mortadella, and salami both rocked. The Bacalao fried balls of salted cod? Rockstar good. There were a couple of small cheese concoctions. Underweight on the cheese. No honey, but a couple of chutneys. Beet one? Awesome. Green one? Acidic and a flavor atonal music fest, rather than a symphony.
The prosciutto? Sliced so thickly that it looked more like thick cut bacon.
Star-down.
Last, on the board? A mystery concoction. It was in a bowl that looked more like a cheese topped kiddie pool. (BIG). No one knew what it was. Bartenders conjectured. "The chef changes things all of the time."
That? Truly sucked. No seasoning. I mean NONE. I had to add salt to get it to edible. Maybe someone forgot.
The ingredients, beef cheese and bit of spinach and chickpeas? Could've been a contender. Could've been something, instead of a BUM dish. Which is what it was.
Overall, the menu is limited, specialized, and not as British. It's more New Brit.
French onion soup. Gnocchi. I saw a tartare delivered. How about some lovely British crackers? Plating? Kind of... gross?
It's also more of a high quality craft bar, than a pub. Great wall, full of top shelf liquors, and lots of things to mix with. That they do especially well. We had Pimm's Cup that rocked.
Later, went upstairs, to a hidden gem British market, with its own butcher shop, coffee bar and British goodies. Perfect place to serve sandwiches, coffees, TEAS, and maybe the more British cold fare. Nope. They don't do that . Lots of great goodies to take home, if you like British goods. That place should kill. The only reason that I knew that it was there was the sign on the staircase. Place was empty, up there other than staff.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Checking out, with Apple Pay? Total clusterf**k. Took ten minutes, and they couldn't get it to work, Apparently POS system #3 that continues to be a POS. Toast? Anyone? Bueller? ANYONE?!!! Star down,
BIG aspirations. Small minded approach to hospitality. Sad, because it oozes promise, with more attentive and less "retentive" front of the house management, and a chef more concerned with quality control of their work.
Won't thrill ya. Won't kill ya.