Will G.
Yelp
My updated review (morning after):
It's clear to me now: I should have left. Before ordering anything, or at least after taking my first sip.
The review I wrote last night was colored by disappointment. This morning, it's more like anger.
Why? Well, as much as I wanted to love my experience, as much as I was actually looking forward to it, and even as much as the interiors of this place suggest you're about to have a lovely time ... I didn't.
First interesting sign: there was a huge gaggle of 20-something girls around the front fire pit. At one point early in my visit, most of them trooped in, to gape over the bathroom. One of the bartenders then commented that this is probably the only place in Greenville where people go out of their way to look at the bathroom. Two weird signs, right in a row.
Then, the next sign that, looking back, should have alarmed me and led me out the door: their virtual menu and its pricing. there was an immediate "slippery" feeling about the prices that I haven't had for years and years at a place in Greenville. The first page, bubbles, had zero prices listed. The succeeding wine pages were marked with the comment that prices range from $9-14 per glass. What?!? So, who's to keep anyone from simply charging $14 per glass? *super* sketchy, not only in my experience but also my opinion from time spent in cocktail bars and wine bars all over the world.
Oh, cocktails? There was one page, with 6 options. Ok, wow. Those has better be incredible then, right? Not a single price on the page, not even a range. SKETCHY. Also: not a single ingredient listed for any cocktail. Just three adjectives, as if they were describing a wine or a single origin coffee.
When a bartender came by (and I'm definitely not going to call any of these nice people a mixologist), I asked about the ingredients, and was mildly surprised that the very first one was vodka based. Now, I don't know your feelings about vodka, but the fact is that vodka-based cocktails are for people who a) don't actually care about spirits and/or b) just want "alcohol." Here's the other weird thing: every single cocktail's *ingredient* list made my face turn unconsciously twisted. Either someone has unusual insight into odd ingredient combinations, or ... well, I really should have left at this point.
(For instance, there's a bourbon-based drink -- and no mention of what bourbon, because evidently that's inconsequential--that also has *spiced pear liqueur* and other liqueurs too. I'm confident my face was contorted at that description alone.)
For some reason, I ordered a cocktail, the gin-based plus carrot(?) one called "Fixed at 6." Slightly odd name. Is that "prepared" or "neutered"? Again, no mention of *what* gin, nor that this was even a relevant question to answer. The *sounds* of its preparation should have also led me to decline it. Everything tossed into a shaker and lazily sloshed 3-4 times before being poured out entirely into a glass tumbler. (There were flashbacks of the similarly disappointing Juniper at this point.)
And the taste? Like spiked koolaid.
I should have sent it back and left.
But somehow, maybe because I had some writing to do, and it was a long day, I stayed. I couldn't bring myself to drink more than half of it. The service was clearly not trained enough to see this as a telling sign that a refund was in order, so I didn't push it.
Decided to order another, Roses Got You Beet. Again, a lazy 3-4 sloshes with ice, this time more critical since the drink was drained into a glass. (Not nearly enough shaking time to chill a drink.) This one was a little more interesting, given that its base spirit was pisco brandy, but still...both were giving me the impression that "cocktail" here meant spiked fruit/vegetable purée. The more I sipped, the more I learned it was *heavily* spiked purée.
Then came the bill. Remember: I had never seen any prices, which would have been cause enough to refuse an exorbitant price. But these cocktails were imagined and made so poorly, I thought they must be $10 or less. To my surprise, shock actually, the total with tax was $36!!!!
After I left and the night wore on, it became clear just how heavily spiked those purées were. I developed the most blazing headache I've had in nearly a decade.
So, are the wines here good? I have absolutely no idea. But you couldn't pay me to come back here, and that's a huge disappointment to someone--like me--who was expecting to find a new favorite place when I walked in the door.
I should have left.
(By the way, I hate writing negative reviews. It's not that I feel betrayed by this experience. I just think that the creativity and craft and presentation of these cocktails is nowhere near the *median* for the Greenville cocktail scene and yet the price is on the extreme upper end, even higher than Swordfish, which really doesn't deserve to be named in the same sentence.)
