The Retreat

Response to The Retreat’s Reply I am responding to the owner’s comment because it misrepresents what actually occurred. I reached out to The Retreat because I was in crisis. I have been experiencing coercive control for over 11 months. the same form of abuse currently being addressed on the New York State Senate floor. That is why I contacted your organization. I was the phone with your advocate Alex , who then offloaded the labor onto me, instructing me to write a chronological account of my abuse; it was 7-9 pages in PDF format and signed. I was required to relive and document my trauma in detail myself rather than being supported through that process by an advocate. After submitting that document, and getting no response until I sent several emails stating I can’t be a survivor and my own case worker, I spent another hour on the phone with your office manager, Katrina, who stated she had not read the document at all. She also stated that she did not believe the advocate had read it either. No advocacy, safety planning, or concrete support was offered. At no point did I meet with anyone face-to-face or via video. All contact occurred through repeated emails after extensive disclosure. Being asked to document abuse in detail only to have that information not reviewed and no services provided; is not trauma-informed care. It is extraction. Your response states that services are prioritized for those “already in crisis.” I was and still am in crisis. That is why I reached out. Capacity issues do not justify requiring survivors to perform unpaid emotional and administrative labor, only to be dismissed afterward. This experience reflects a pattern that non-white survivors consistently encounter when seeking help from domestic violence organizations. My lived experience with The Retreat and Long Island Domestic Violence matches the data; Non-white survivors are asked to give more, explain more, document more and receive less. If we are allowed access at all, we receive breadcrumbs, not the full level of care that white survivors receive. I am stating this clearly: Funds earmarked for underserved populations are not reaching us in practice. The level of advocacy, follow-through, and care is not equitable. To non-white survivors reading this: if you have experienced similar treatment; extensive disclosure with no support, no follow-up, and no advocacy file a complaint with the state and federal government. These organizations serve the public and must be held accountable. To donors: if you are donating to domestic violence organizations under the belief that non-white and underserved survivors are receiving equitable care, we are not. Silencing these realities or softening language to make institutions comfortable is exactly why these patterns continue. Naming harm is not the problem. The harm is.

If you are reading this and have had a similar experience, I want to encourage you to do more than leave a Google review. Reviews raise awareness, but they do not create institutional accountability. If you believe you were denied services, treated differently, or experienced discrimination, take your experience to the appropriate state or federal agencies. These agencies track patterns across time and across organizations. That is how change happens. Survivors deserve systems that are accountable, not just visible.

I am leaving this review to bring transparency to donors and the public, particularly those who believe they are supporting non-white (black women) and underserved survivors of domestic violence. I contacted The Retreat seeking advocacy and support related to coercive control, separation abuse, stalking, and systemic intimidation connected to my estranged husband. The organization collected my personal information and data, but I was provided no advocacy, no meaningful intake, and no services that are prominently described on their website. I never met with an advocate in person. I was never offered the support that is publicly advertised. Katrina got upset when I asked why they weren’t advocating for my needs. What I experienced reflects a broader pattern that many non-white women encounter in these systems: our stories and data are collected, for donor funds but assistance is withheld. The labor that advocates are funded to provide is instead offloaded onto Black women, who are expected to navigate systems alone while being denied the very support meant for us. For donors who give funds earmarked for diversity, equity, inclusion, and underserved populations: non-white women are not receiving what is promised. We do not see the advocacy, the protection, or the access portrayed online. In many cases, we are treated dismissively or not assisted at all. I am sharing this not to attack, but to inform. Organizations that accept funding for vulnerable communities must be held accountable for how they actually serve those communities in practice. If this organization does not want reviews like this, the solution is simple: provide equitable, transparent, and consistent advocacy to all survivors, not just some.

Wonderful staff. Clean and organized. A great cause to break the cycle of domestic violence.

This organization denied me help after I got arrested for an assault 2 which I was not convinced because I was lied on. Someone later called cps and made the accusations even stronger by saying I killed someone which it never said in the media I never even went to jail…. I begged the retreat to help me as they have in the past they wouldn’t even let the counselor speak with me I suffer from mental health I thought this organization was to help people but clearly you all are very judgemental an disgusting my child was wrongfull Taken from me because in this incident that occurred my child was not present cps told me to call the retreat an even she was sad to hear they couldn’t help and the lack of sympathy for a person begging for assistance and getting no help is sickening

When organizations seem "too good to be true"... they often times are. Trusting The Retreat is a huge regret. Too many people think they're in charge for absolute fairness & equity. 😑

So thankful for the retreat and there advocates! They helped me find an attorney and they were there every step of the way. Special thanks to Gabby!

You get an answering machine at night or a bored woman during the day. No help at all.