Snoogle B.
Google
TLDR: Terrible service, overpriced, good sandwiches, fancy decorations
Edit: While I appreciate the reply, as there has been no response to my email, this review will remain unaltered.
I shall preface this review with the fact that I am an American deigning to comment on London high tea. In my defense, however, I have been to several high teas both inside and outside of London. This wasn't a good one.
We'll start with their inability to complete a very simple task: greeting us with the champagne they had promised they would greet us with for a rather substantial additional fee. When my dining companion and I entered, there was no champagne! Additionally, it took ten minutes of being at our table, then specifically requesting the champagne, to receive... One of the two glasses we had paid for. It took until the meal was almost finished for the second to be delivered, but that's skipping ahead.
Let's move onto the sandwiches. They were pretty good! No real complaints there - definitely a wide range of options, and although I wasn't a fan of them all, a second platter that we could design was also offered. It should be noted that both the first and second round of sandwiches took an egregiously long time to arrive, and the servers seemed incredibly, incredibly rushed.
I, as someone who prefers a decaffeinated tea (especially at 17:00! Jeez!) was disappointed by the lack of options in that department, and the terrible service and understaffing once again appeared in the way that I was barely able to get a second pot before the meal had ended. My dining companion, who did enjoy the caffeinated tea, noted that she had wished to try multiple teas, as is rather the point of a high tea, in that you are supposed to be able to try lots and lots of included, fancy teas. She was, however, only able to try two.
Here's where they started really messing up. It took half an hour for the next course to arrive, and when it did, it was not the next course as shown by the menu, but rather the one after it. (It was delicious, actually. One of the redeeming points of the evening.) This was yet more baffling as they had already gotten out their fancy tea. Tree. Thing. Which was, as we found later, used to hang the scones. They then proceeded to bring out the scones (the second course) and the dessert (fourth course) at roughly the exact same time.
The scones were wonderful, as many things tend to be when drowned in strawberries and clotted cream. The desserts, while ornate, just did not taste all that great. The peppermint was the "hon hon we put an actual leaf into this" kind instead of the "yippee candy cane" kind. That's more a personal preference, though. The flavors of all of the desserts were overly muted. Also, their aesthetic beauty did not lend itself well to actually eating the things without shoving the entire treat in one's mouth. Like a heathen. Which I am, so I did, but it was a tad awkward. It took another twenty minutes to acquire the check (200 pounds flat, then more for taxes...) and I found myself very glad that there was no tipping culture here.
The main reason this place is getting two stars instead of one is that it was beautiful. Beautiful. They really do look the high class part, even if the service doesn't match that standard. Additionally, those sandwiches and the "pre-dessert" (whatever that means) were very good, even if the rest of the food and drink was somewhere between average and terrible.
(Desserts pictured! I thought the leftmost looked like a duck looking over its shoulder. A very geometric duck.)