The Royal Cuckoo
Cocktail bar · La Lengua
3202 Mission St, San Francisco, CA 94110
Highlights
Dimly lit bar with vintage decor, live music, and craft cocktails
Dimly lit bar with vintage decor, live music, and craft cocktails
"The decor is all over the place—a deer head, a photo composite of 2 Kennedys and Martin Luther King, A small boy wearing his best Victorian finery, sketches of grumpy people and animals, Burt Reynolds staring at you longingly from the record shelf, I could go on and on… And that’s what makes this place unique, it is the antithesis of the highly curated, themed bars flooding SF at the moment. This corner spot opened up in 2011, and was such a welcome addition to the neighborhood, which (at the time) was sadly missing places to grab a proper cocktail. The Royal Cuckoo is incredibly dark and very red (and we're not just saying that to justify our crappy photos), but once your eyes adjust, you feel a bit like you are transported to something akin to a set from Twin Peaks. Live music (W-Sun) pushes the eclectic vibe over the top—when the Hammond organ built into the bar is lovingly played, accompanied by a cornucopia of uniquely talented singers and musicians. The Cuckoo is just a really special spot." - Strohl
"There’s live music most nights at The Royal Cuckoo in Bernal Heights, and it’s one of the few (if not the only) bars in town with an organ. The red lighting hides your anxiety flush if you’re here on a date, and there’s extra space on the back patio when it gets crowded—or you can post up on one of the couches and admire the taxidermied animal heads and vintage knick-knacks lining the space. Keep an eye on their Instagram for the mostly jazz performance schedule." - julia chen 1, ricky rodriguez, patrick wong
"The Royal Cuckoo in Bernal Heights makes a great date spot when you’re nervous and want all the dim red lighting to hide the fact that your cheeks are flushing from all the butterflies. Plus, all the corner nooks make it easy to feel intimate if you’d like to get into a conversation about existentialism versus absurdism. While there’s no food here, they do have a giant record collection, alcoholic hot cider, and a warmed back patio if you want to briefly escape the red lights." - lani conway, ricky rodriguez, julia chen 1
"Live organ music, intimate corner nooks, and lighting so red it’ll hide your anxiety flush—find all of this at The Royal Cuckoo in Bernal Heights. If awkward pauses reach critical mass, fill the space with a comment about how the bar’s soundtrack has inspired you to learn how to play the organ. And if things are going well, Royal Cuckoo is a conveniently located launching pad for the other bars in the neighborhood." - julia chen 1
"Dive bars aren’t usually cozy, but The Royal Cuckoo is a rare breed. Lights that look like red fireflies hang from the ceiling, and there are plenty of church pews, bar stools, and chairs that make it easy to find a place to sit. There’s even a cot in the back you can lie on and listen to vinyl records over a few cocktails - if you want the full “chilling at home” effect." - lani conway, will kamensky
