Doug C.
Yelp
Wandering through the streets of San Antonio, in the distance a giant red structure arose through a gap in the streets. Since I was headed in that direction already and was infused with curiosity, I stopped to ponder the structure. It's purpose was inscrutable and signage is notably absent. "This is probably some high-brow obscure metaphorical tribute to the tragedy of the nearly extinct Amami Spiny Rat of Japan" I groused.
And I figured that I would probably never know the full story of this monument. But, amazingly, sitting in a café across the street was the sculptor, Sebastian! He then granted me the privilege of sitting down and interviewing him over a cup of coffee.
Me: "Thank you for sitting down and taking the time to talk to me."
S: "I am always happy to explain the wonders of art to the masses."
Me: (clears throat) "So, how do you like San Antonio?"
S: "I like it very much. It's a wonderful place, rich in history and culture."
Me: "Okay. So tell me a little bit about the sculpture. What's it for?"
S: "Well, originally I was designing it as a tribute to the Amami Spiny Rat of Japan...."
Me: "HA! I KNEW IT!"
S: ".....but then a member of the Association of Mexican Entrepreneurs of San Antonio was walking by and remarked how it would be great as a symbol of the growing ties between Mexico and the United States. So I went with that."
Me: (nodding) "I can see that. So what's with the single name, Sebastian? Weren't you born Enrique Carbajal?"
S: "Yes, but once you become important, it is necessary to change your name to a single word. Once you become famous, your works no longer are constrained by the normal boundaries of morality, time, space...."
Me: "Please stop. Forget I asked the question."
(uncomfortable silence)
Me: "What is it about the symbolism of fire that you were trying to convey here?"
S: "Fire is the origin of friendship. In the same way that people share food over a fire, the torch signifies the friendship, strength and creativity of relationships. This is what fire does."
Me: "Doesn't it also burn down houses?"
S: (gets up and walks away)
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Disclaimer: It's possible this interview was imaginary.
Disclaimer #2: This interview is in no way meant to demean art. Beyond the aesthetics of art, even at its' most functional, art provides a way to differentiate a beautiful house from a 1950's era Soviet housing project.
Disclaimer #3: This review in no way is meant to demean US-Mexican ties. I'm personally happy at the improving ties between our nations since the days of Pancho Villa.
Disclaimer #4: It should be noted that Disclaimer #3 does not necessarily endorse the formation of a North American Union and adoption of the Amero as a form of currency.
Disclaimer #5: Disclaimer #4 does not necessarily mean that I do not endorse the formation of a North American Union. It's just that you shouldn't read any particular personal preference on my behalf out of this review.
Disclaimer #6: The iocane powder is in the glass closest to you.