eduardr993
Google
I booked this “boutique hotel” in hopes of rest, charm, and maybe some soft lighting.|Instead, I accidentally enrolled in a week-long bootcamp titled:|“Surviving Cartagena: Noise Edition.”||Let’s start with the walls, which are made of equal parts enthusiasm and air. I didn’t hear my neighbors — but I did hear everything happening in the hallway. Voices, footsteps, slamming doors — all of it came straight through the front door of the room as if it were wide open.||Now the rooftop bar.|It kicks off around noon and gradually evolves into an earthquake simulator by nightfall. The music vibrates through floors, walls, and possibly dimensions. I’m 95% sure my toothbrush danced off the sink on day two.||The bar staff? Fantastic. Friendly, fast, and somehow unfazed by the building trying to shake itself loose.|And yes, the food is expensive… but the snacks were actually quite good.||But don’t worry — you won’t accidentally sleep through it. Because at 7:00 a.m. sharp, the construction team arrives to remind you that silence is for cowards.|We’re talking jackhammers. Full orchestral chaos. The kind of sound you feel in your teeth.||I raised my concerns — specifically about the construction noise outside the hotel starting at 7:00 a.m. every morning.|What I got in return was a vague apology that sounded like it was written by a chatbot raised on customer service scripts.|Room change? Nope.|Free cocktail? Not unless I dreamed it.|Empathy? Out of office.||Privacy? Optional.|No “Do Not Disturb” sign, which is appropriate — because this place firmly believes in disturbance as a lifestyle. Housekeeping visits are frequent, surprising, and vaguely suspenseful. Towels? Water? A pop quiz? Who knows. However, the cleaning staff were always friendly and kind.||And just when you think you’ve adjusted… the air conditioner speaks.|Not hums. Speaks.|It groans, rattles, and occasionally roars like a small aircraft doing breathing exercises. It doesn’t cool the room — it dominates it. You’ll have to choose: heatstroke or takeoff.||The room itself:|- A/C louder than my inner monologue|- Shower that takes several minutes to consider warming up|- Breakfast so small I considered eating the plate — and to be clear, I’m talking about the included hotel breakfast||The location is central — in the way a festival main stage is “central.” Vendors, shouting, ambient chaos. Hotel staff watch quietly, possibly in another timezone.||Bottom line:|This isn’t a boutique hotel. It’s a full-volume sensory experience disguised as accommodation.|If you're 22, powered by tequila, and think sleep is optional – you’ll thrive.|If you're over 30 and enjoy things like silence, privacy, or functioning eardrums – look elsewhere.||One star – for the heroic bar staff, the solid snacks, the kind cleaners, and the personal growth that comes from being awake for seven nights in a row.|And if this review sounds slightly dramatic… try writing one after a week without sleep.