Seth F.
Yelp
IF this Trader Joe simply called himself a "Trader Joe's Express" much blunder and heartbreak and exasperation would be avoided:
after all, one enters into this store and descends down and downward deep into the very intestines of the Boylstons themselves with their notoriety, and upon arriving into these entrails one finds oneself in a tight and sweaty and cramped maze of paths with no maize, and for that matter there is very little to be had in general--which, it must be said, is an absolute and utter pity because, truth be told, I do like intestines and had a delicious tripe stew last month, but that my friends is another story;
although this Trader Joe is so petite, its few stocks and shelves are themselves only sparsely populated with the goods we know and expect to find within a Trader Joe himself (the sweet potato and the rice and the oil and the apple and the milk and the yogurt and all of the other things little and large) and, ¡let me tell you!, this is not a regional or even localized food shortage so please kindly do not even get started with me about shortages of goods and their microeconomics and financials blah blah blah blah blah, because the other Trader Joes nearby are bustling and booming and filled to their brims with all kinds of goodies, and they are not even in the Boylstons' intestines;
in short, eager and robust shoppers find themselves out of luck because nothing they came looking for is actually to be had within this Trader Joe, he is void;
indeed, this Trader Joe is simply a hoax and we are all its targets, not least of all I your writer who bore witness and fell into the very trap I have always sought to avoid;
it however must be said that the cashier was absolutely splendid and loving, and provided much consolation to make up ever so slightly for the inadequacies around her, and for this reason and this reason alone I have awarded this Trader Joe one (1) single star, rather than the zero (0) stars that an experience without this splendid and loving cashier would otherwise demand;
and so someone who does not hold a grudge like I hold a grudge told me, you must only go back another time and you will simply fall enamored and be carried away by Trader Joe himself and his voluminous bounties and voluptuous sweet potatoes and you shall forget the horrors of your first experience in the Boylstons' intestines and you will love them and this Trader Joe like you loved the tripe stew several months ago;
and to that I simply reply, ha ha ha ha ha because I will never go back, I will never go back and you cannot make me.