Pan D.
Yelp
This story begins with a handful of beans. Though my name isn't Jack and there was no beanstalk (that I know of), there were brave HEROES and a surly VILLAIN and, perhaps, a victorious ride into the sunset...
The beans came from the mythical land of San Francisco, a faraway kingdom where cars ride on cables and dumplings come on carts and the most delicious chocolate pumps magic into the nearby bay. The beans were purchased for a mother, who was coming to care for a daughter on the eve of a particularly ominous knee surgery - but surgeries and sutures are for another, far less interesting tale.
As a non-coffee drinker, our heroine did not know that she would need her beans ground. When she realized her error, she set out in hopes of breaking the beans and freeing the liquid gratitude that hid within. There was only one market she frequented in the village, the almighty WholeFoods, that had always served her well, and in return, she served with her loyalty; it was to WholeFoods she called upon to help achieve her mission.
At WholeFoods, looking befuddled and hopeless, the first knight in shining armor approached her, an officer armed with a grin, offering to take her to her to a mighty weapon, The Grinder, that was to help her conquer her demon. Take her he did, but it was here, so close to victory that she met the villain of our tale!
He was sour at once, eying her as if she had skinned his dog to wear around her neck. He clicked his tongue. He questioned her curtly. Finally, he told her SHOO FROM HERE in a biting tone, a tone that told her never to return to her beloved market again.
But, alas, dear reader, do not lose hope - the story is not over yet! Our heroine went on a search for another knight, and found him behind the customer service counter. Sir Supervisor Emmett was the second knight's name, and he awarded her with a prize for her struggles. He accompanied her back to her weapon - the villain sulked into hiding at the sight of the fearsome twosome - and they broke those beans and freed the magic within! So you see, dear reader, our story has a happy ending, indeed. There was no sunset (Boston winters and all) but now our heroine's mother won't suffer from lethargy as she nurses our heroine back to health to impart on many-a-mission more.
That missing star, that's for you, sir villain. For your treacherous tone and for trying to keep the liquid courage all to yeself!
THE END.