"It’s hard to tell what this person thinks of you - it takes them a day and a half to respond to your texts, but when they do it’s with a blushing emoji and extra vowels. Go to Saint Lou’s, a restaurant in the West Loop that serves things like patty melts and mac and cheese. It’s not romantic at all, but the dimly-lit attached bar, Moneygun, is. So if it turns out their phone just has terrible service (to go along with their terrible taste in emojis), follow up with some cocktails next door." - josh barnett