Matt C.
Yelp
I......should.......write.........this.........review.........like.........this, so that you get the idea of the speed of the dining experience at Amuse. But, first things first....
As you walk through Amuse's 20 foot oak doors, climb the stairs and go through their equally as large glass doors, you instantly feel like you don't belong. The place is immaculate. It was impeccably clean; chairs lined up perfectly, servers in crisp, clean black uniforms, marble and mahogany everywhere, AND, no one so much as looks at you when you walk in. We stood around at the hostess stand for about 3-4 minutes just looking lost until someone came to assist us. Also, there was some CREEPY video playing behind the bar of a man standing perfectly still in the middle of the ocean. The waves were moving but the silhouette was PERFECTLY STILL. It felt like Jason coming out of Crystal Lake. Seriously, creepy.
ANYway, after finally being sat, we waited AGAIN for literally 10-15 minutes before our waiter came over to us. Despite his speed, which was somewhere between "glacier" and "turtle drunk on NyQuil" he was an absolute gem. He was VERY nice; almost suspiciously nice, and very polished. He was helpful and knowledgeable and took care of us very well. After placing our orders; onion soup for the misses and the charcuterie (meat and cheese board) for me, we waited....again. (Coincidentally, our DRINKS came back pretty fast; a cosmo for her, and something called a Boulevardier for me, which was VERY good. (Makers Mark Bourbon, Campari, Sweet Vermouth) The drinks are strong and not terribly over priced. Somewhere around $10 for each. As the drinks came out, our waiter noticed we had not gotten our bread and he brought it out. It was good as far as bread goes. It was piping hot and soft, but still having a crunch on top. The only knock was that it was served with like a quarter teaspoon of butter. I really wish there was more butter but at this point I was so hungry I would've eaten the menu.
When the appetizers came out, we got down to business. The misses onion soup was classic onion soup but my meat board was something to behold. Taste wise, it was good, not great; some pate', pepperoni, a soft cheese (Brie perhaps?) fresh ground mustard, ginger root and a fig compote served with crustinis. The presentation was beautiful. It was all served, nicely laid out on a wooden block.
Again, we were Somolian hungry at this point, so apps were gone in a few minutes. Then, we waited. And waited. And WAITED. After what felt like FOREVER, but was probably around 40-45 minutes, out come the entrees; a pepper crusted ribeye for me (medium! what took so damn long?!), and a salmon roulade with artichokes and a white clam sauce for the misses.
When they say "pepper crusted," boy do they mean it. The steak was ENCASED in a pepper shell. I almost had to CRACK it to get to the steak. The steak itself was beautifully cooked, and was served with mushrooms and fennel bulbs, but the pepper overwhelmed the steak a little. The salmon I found to be a little "fishy," although the white clam sauce was delicious. With dinner, we also had two glasses of house wine; pretty good, with a standard pour.
Off to dessert, and this is where Amuse kinda went off the rails. On the dessert menu were 6 spice crepes. The description was "Chocolate Ricotta Filled, Bananas Foster Sauce, Nutmeg Chantilly"...uh, YES PLEASE! It was like someone wrote down my own thoughts for deliciousness and handed it to me. We decided to split that and away our waiter went. After another wait, (I honestly forget how long this one was. We were conditioned to ignore time and space by this point) out come our crepes. First, I don't know why the number 6 is in this title. There were TWO crepes. Second, I don't know why "bananas foster sauce" is in the description. There was none. Third, I don't know why this dessert is on the menu. It was TERRIBLE. UGH. 1 bite and I dropped my fork in horror. Our waiter came over to ask how dessert was, and I told him that I had to be honest and that it was atrocious. Like I said, this man was a gem, so he said, "let me make you an apple crumble!" And sprang to the kitchen to get us a proper dessert. He came back with a blueberry apple crisp with house made salted ice cream. The apple crisp was infinitely better, but still wasn't very good. I made it through 2 spoonfulls before I decided it wasn't worth the calories. I wasn't going to complain twice and thanked the waiter for his generous act.
So, final thoughts? Amuse is GORGEOUS. It is annoyingly slow and disturbingly quiet, and little bit dark in the dining room, but it is still a nice experience. The waitstaff is very professional and polished. The meals are good and the drinks are strong. The place has an elegance about it, without being pretentious. The prices were a LITTLE bit high (our bill came to $136) and I can't recommend going willy nilly, but if youre going on a Groupon like us, check it out.