Joshua L.
Yelp
Last night, I stumbled on this rhinestone in the rough because I was looking for a quick bite to eat before going to a musical. Westlake has been in a sorry state, and I was excited to see something... anything that could make downtown a little more vital.
Entering, there was a moderately long line, with an electronic kiosk for ordering. It wasn't actually clear what I was supposed to do, and no staff were there to explain it. I'm an adult, at least on most days, so I started ordering. Many, many choices. Promising. I get the feeling that this kiosk replaced staff to cut costs. Made my order, and my date's order, and paid $47 dollars for two entrees. I don't like to give my phone number out to companies, but it seemed there was no way to proceed with ordering without providing it. I wonder what they will do with my number. There was a prompt to tip up to 30% - but given that I hadn't seen a staff person yet, it wasn't clear who I would be tipping. I held off my tip, and decided I would tip later when who I was tipping became clearer.
The set up is interesting. Technically it's a bunch of mini booths with different specialities, but the kiosk unifies the ordering.
It was never clear how I was supposed to get this food I ordered. The dishes I ordered were from multiple booths, but I had no idea which booth each dish was supposed to come from.
We walked into the seating area. Very loud pop music was blaring on the loud speakers. Lights. Sensory overload. Was getting overwhelmed. You basically have to watch all nine booths, and the coffee shop upstairs until the loudspeaker calls it out. This seemed odd, so I asked another customer if that was how it worked. That is how it worked.
Noise was too much. I went to the upper area to find a relatively quiet space, near the coffee area, and left my date downstairs to watch the lower food booths. The upper area was drafty. Divide and conquer, I guess. Lo and behold, my lemonade and my date's boba were waiting for me. I went for the drinks, and the only staff I saw that night asked my ticket number. Was I supposed to give her my tip? I'm a good tipper, but this didn't seem right. Drinks in hand, I received a text saying my order was ready, and an electronic voice on the loudspeaker implored me to please, please pick it up. I texted my date to let him know we had drinks.
Food was still waiting. I had to pee. I looked forward to peeing, as a stall provides a well timed bit of solace from the noise. The toilet was down three flights of stairs, and the stairs were lined with the filthiest carpet I'd seen in ages. Caked with something. Redolent of a dive bar. At the bottom of the stairs, there was an elevator, with a sign on it saying it was reserved for employees only. What employees? Hello? Is anyone there? If I were in a wheelchair, how would I pee? Who would I ask to use the forbidden elevator? Would that be the person to give my tip to? The woman at the coffee counter? The kiosk?
Returning to my table, my congee was ready. Someone was mopping the floor under my table. Do I give her the tip? My date kindly found my dish me, brought up upstairs, and returned to the lower level to look for his food. Thank god I paid ten cents for a packet of soy sauce. Serviceable, but not amazing. My date didn't get his pork belly bowl yet. Do I let the congee get cold out of a sense of politeness to my date?
Seventeen minutes later, another text came, saying my date's order was ready. This is 35 minutes after arriving. We ate as quickly as we could. He said it was decent.
Ultimately, we were late for the theatre. Missed the first fifteen minutes of the show.
I really wanted to like this place, but in the end, it was confusing and chaotic. Food just ok - had it been better, perhaps the rest would be forgivable. But ultimately, few of my goals were met. It wasn't cheap, it wasn't comfortable, it wasn't fast, and it wasn't that good. But my belly did get full. Which was my main goal.
I don't think I'll be back.
After the theatre, about 2 hours later, I received 2 texts letting me know my food was ready. Was there more food there? Was I charged twice? Are they ok? Was that the person who should get my tip? Why do I feel so lonely when I think of returning there?