Cole O.
Yelp
**"An Hour-Long Nightmare of Incompetence, Lies, and Ice-Cold Garbage"**
Where do I even begin with this absolute clown show of a bagel shop? Bew's Bagels isn't a business--it's a hostage situation with carbs.
Walked in, greeted by a guy with a nose ring the size of a bagel hole, lazily poking at a kiosk like it's his first day on Earth. The place looks like a tornado hit a bakery and then someone tried to clean it up with a leaf blower. Chaos. Zero organization. Orders scribbled on napkins, bags of flour exploding in the corner--health code violation speedrun.
We order a dozen bagels. "10-15 minutes," Nose Ring grunts. Cool. We step next door for coffee. Come back at 20 minutes--nothing. 30 minutes--still nothing. 40 minutes--watching people who ordered *after* us walk out with steaming bags while we stand there like idiots.
Finally, at the **45-minute mark**, I ask what's up. The response? A shrug and:
*"Oh yeah, we just started your order. Also, we're out of sesame and poppyseed now."*
EXCUSE ME?! There were **piles** of both when we ordered. You mean to tell me you prioritized every single person who walked in after us, burned through your entire stock, and *then* decided to mention it? That's not a bagel shop. That's a social experiment on how much bullshit one customer can take.
**One full hour later**--yes, **60 minutes** for *bagels*--we finally get our order. And of course, it's **wrong**. Half the bagels aren't even toasted. The ones that *are* toasted? Somehow **freezing cold**. Like they toasted them, then stuck them in a snowbank out back. The texture? A war crime. Stale, chewy, flavorless hockey pucks drowning in disappointment. I've had better bagels from a gas station at 3 a.m.
This isn't a bagel shop. It's a front for something. Money laundering? Time theft? A government experiment to see how long people will wait before snapping?
**Bew's Bagels doesn't deserve your time, your money, or the oxygen in that disgusting storefront.** Burn it down and salt the earth. Zero stars. I'd rather eat the kiosk.
**TL;DR: 1 hour. Wrong order. Cold. Out of everything. Run by morons. Worst bagel experience of my life.**