Jesus H.
Yelp
Score - 2.21 / 10
TL;DR - You have to buy bottled water which 85% of the restaurants in the area don't make you do. Our Hookah coals were not touched even after being there for more than an hour, and worst of all the food quality was poor and felt microwaved.
Experience/service - i'll start with saying I'm an Orlando native, and only extremely fancy, Michelin star restaurants in winter park (or similar) have ever charged me for water. And it was nice "fancy" water that I see at publix for 4 dollars a bottle. At Cafe 34, If I remember correctly, they offered to sell me a warm bottle of what I think was dasani water without even a glass of ice to pour it in.
You really shouldn't have to read more than that to know that there are literally 80 other places you could go to eat good near I-drive. But, since this'll be a comprehensive review, i'll talk about the Hookah experience, service and food.
Personally, I don't smoke Hookah but my friends (which were the redeeming factor of this experience) told me that it tasted good but made notes to say that the water at the bottom was not chilled very well and also that the coals (after being there about an hour and a half) were not rotated once. For being a "Hookah lounge" there didn't seem to be that much focus on the Hookah part. And to be quite honestly, it seemed to have been a lounge for everyone at the restaurant.
For example, the space felt extremely slow, and even though the place was nearly empty, the food (which we'll get to), took way too long for what it was, nearly 40 minutes. And for some reason, our server told us that they would bring out Lavash for one group at our table and a different group at our table was told (by the same waiter) that they had no Lavash that night which is strange considering the first group had asked for it twice and were told "it's on the way". Not to mention that the one item on the menu that I would assume most people would be excited about (the Doner) turned out to be available only 2 days out of the week (friday and Saturday). How is this not even mentioned on the menu? And to top it all off, it took about 20 minutes for the bill to print, and we were handed the bill after our table was cleaned off. Personally I think the customer shouldn't have to be handing dishes to the waiter in the middle of conversation, but, that's just my opinion.
Food - Utter disappointment. I don't know how you cook a piece of meat to medium without it even being warm. I'm nearly certain that each meal at my table was put in a microwave for at least 3 minutes, since, A it took extremely long for anything to come out. And B it was all dry, I paid 27$ for a Beef Shish Kebab (which is a pretty hefty price tag in Orlando) to have onions with no vinegar, coleslaw with some sort of mayo mix (which makes no sense as the place is supposed to be "authentic") and 5 sorry pieces of microwaved meat served with undercooked rice. They didn't even use a good cut, it looked like chuck roast which is typically used for - you guessed it - roasting. I'm also nearly certain that the meat was microwaved because it was dry and had huge gray band with a "medium" middle.
Conclusion - Lets list some pros: dedicated parking, Halal food, and near Icon park, but the reality is, do I really want to spend that much money on something this poor when it comes to quality? no.