Daniel L.
Yelp
When you need to visit a bar on Caturday you better make hecka sure that the name involves the word "cat."
Catbirds is a Houston institution in that it is one of the last remaining /dive bars/ in the Montrose area where million dollar townhouses and developers fueled by oil money greed and excesses have rubbed out nearly all of the more interesting elements of the creative class enclave over the past several years.
You can even buy cigarettes here. There is a lit up Camel sign on the wall leading towards the restrooms and packages of a variety of Camel lines (including Camel Crush) are on the right hand side of the bar. It smells nice and smokey when the door to the patio briefly swings open and close - it reminds me of a kinder and gentler Houston back in the aughts when going out to a bar included coming home smelling nice and smokey regardless of whether or not you had smoked anything. But now Houston is just like Palo Alto where smokers are relegated to the third class of citizenry and the nonsmoker vanguard say smarmy things like "nobody has ever died of second hand heroin" unlike second hand smoke.
Catbirds still looks the same as it did when it first opened, or more accurately for a point in time and space when I first moseyed on in new to the Houston scene back in the aughts. It's nice that some things never change. This is like that bar in Cheers except most of the patrons are hipsters with great big bushy beards, tats, and a fuckton of extreme piercings on and around the facial region.
It's not the kind of bar you would bring your mother to for a genteel and sophisticated $11 cocktail (like at Stone's Throw across the street) because she would be under the assumption that you live more of an unorthodox hardcore S&M sex dungeon lifestyle than you actually do given your advanced level of Star Wars knowledge.
With that being said, it is so /dive bar/ it is an enjoyable experience once you get past all of the negatives. Well drinks are $3.50 on special during a Caturday afternoon so you can have not just "tee many martoonies" in the parlance of Elliot Richards - but three many without even denting your pocketbook.
Since it caters to "regulars" in a very cult-like (exclusive) way if the bartender(s) don't know you on a first name basis to discuss which of your mutual friends have been hookin' up lately, then you get prioritized last for your drink order. I learned some new "adult content" from the patrons that I did not need to even look up on urbandictionary on my iPhone, I got the mental picture from their stories. And based on those stories that young lady needs to spend more time in church, just sayin'
As a non-regular I am of the opinion that the service is not very good. It took 20 minutes to place the order for our first round of drinks even though there were only seven other people in the bar, with none of them actually needing another drink at the moment besides me and my drinkin' companion. 20 minutes is as incomprehensibly bad as the service at OKRA to glare at a bartender just chatting up their homeys meanwhile I am dying over here in need of a drink. We nearly left to go back across the street to Stone's Throw. It's a tiny bar and it is obvious when two gentlesirs walk in, sit down at the bar, and require sustenance in the form of party liquors because why else would they be sitting there instead of the bar at the TGI Fridays out by the airport?
Service is not that great for a bar (dive bar or not) if they make you wait a long time to get your hooch, the place is hella dirty too ... I know it's a dive bar but a good wash behind the ears might be all she needs to turn from the side chick you hesitantly tell your friends about into wifey material that you tell everyone and their mother about.
The longer my drinkin' companion and I stayed the more I softened up to the place. In need of a second round of drinks it only took 10 minutes of obvious groaning and complaining before we got to place the order, and then the drinks came out quite expediently. Later on when the popcorn machine was fired up the bartender brought over a styrofoam cup for us.
It is unique for such a grimy dive bar to still be standing in Montrose, I will give it that. I think they could vastly improve their star quality on the yelp dot com if they got brothers their hooch more quickly - work first, disgusting sex talk with other patrons later when nobody else inside the bar is trying to order their next round.