Steven T.
Yelp
II have nobody to blame but myself, I admit that. But about every month I get a hankering for Chinese food at a restaurant. My wife and my children refuse to eat at any Chinese (except Gody's) in Spokane, because of the frightful and nauseating (literally) experiences that we have had here.
So here I was out with a friend and we were both hungry and decided to get some lunch, we agreed to stop of the first restaurant we saw on the right side of the road. (Don't ask why, it just seem liked a good idea at the time.) Low and behold Chinese Gardens appeared after we said that and I got a small pit in my stomach, but I put on a good demeanor and though, wow maybe this is karma and this will be the most awesome place. (Okay I didn't really think that, I was just hoping I could stomach the food delivered too me.)
The outside of the restaurant was rather run-down looking, in need of some paint and landscaping, but it matched the part of town we were in. The #10 can of bamboo shoots by the door filled with cigarette butts was a classic. But once inside (after the door ominously BANGED shut) the interior was more palatable.
We were greeted promptly and taken to a booth and then the next thing we got glasses of water? Hmmm, this is a Chinese restaurant right and there are teacups on the table, where is the tea. The next thing we notice is that along with a sparse selection of Chinese lunch items we could get the ever popular hamburger or chicken finger plate - oh dear!
We both decide different lunch specials and when it came time to order I ordered by the items on the special, the waitress looked at me and said "What number is that" - Oh dear! She then asked us if we wanted something else to drink other then water, and we both replied tea.
Now if a Chinese restaurant can't serve good tea then you know you have some major problems; and we had major problems. The tea appears to be brewed (or more likely boiled) in large batches in the back. We had no leaves in our and the tea was overly tannic and tasted slightly like coffee, a sure sign that the leaves were boiled rather then steeped. The terms nasty, tannic and unpalatable all come to mind - OH dear!
The lunch started off with egg drop soup, pretty plain tasting, with lots of food color, but overall it was edible, but nothing to write home about.
When the entrees arrived is when the fun began. My friend had special garden chicken, egg roll and fried rice. I had Chicken chow mein (you can't screw that up right), Almond Chicken and fried rice.
The egg roll was very greasy because the oil used to fry it in was way past its prime, plus just having a bunch of cabbage, 1 or 2 bean sprouts and a sprinkling of mystery meat does not make a good egg roll. How about some seasoning please. Also get this; it was served with, are you ready for it, ketchup - OH Dear!
The special garden chicken was fresh vegetables with about 4 ounces of chicken in a clear-gel thickened sauce that had no flavor. I don't mind plain veges and I don't mind a nice sauce but to thicken water and put it over the dish was wrong - OH DEar!
The fried rice appeared to be overcooked steam rice with about 1/12 of a scrambled egg added to it on a griddle. No flavor, no seasoning.
My chow mein was insipid, I am not a fan of dumping soy sauce on items, but I ended up putting some on it to give it some sort of flavor. Where was the ginger, garlic, scallion nuances - OH DEAr!
But the winner of the scariest dish award goes to the Almond Chicken. Okay form in your mind what you would expect to get served to you if you ordered almond chicken. Got it, good. Don't read on until you can visualize some sort Almond chicken dish.
What I got appeared to be a boneless chicken thigh that was smashed down to make a cutlet, then breaded and deep-fried. Think Chicken fried steak made with a chicken thigh. It was then diced and covered with either a turkey or pork gravy (this had to be out of a powdered mix or a can) and then on top of it was sprinkled very finely ground almonds (I think). OH DEAR!!!!!
What were the pros of this place - the water was good and they were better then the Cathay Inn and King Yen.