Eric F.
Yelp
When I was younger I made a lot more money in a much shorter time. So much in fact that I spent much of my twenties, thirties and even my forties, working for six months to save $25,000, and then subletting my lakeview condo for big bucks so that I could travel for a year. I lived on the cheep, sleeping in trains (on my Eurail Pass) in the most expensive countries, and doing hotels in the cheaper ones. And I ate 2/3 of my meals from fruit stands and markets so I could afford a world class meal two or three times a week. I don't know how I did it, except that I was young and strong and exceptionally fearless. What a Great Life it was.
But now I am old, or at least middle aged. And the many chili peppers I ate, and mountains I climbed, and opium dens filled with thugs and prostitutes that I passed out in - my body's blade has been worn thin. Now it takes me a year to save enough money to travel for even just three weeks. And an opium den in Burma? Well, it would simply kill me nowadays. But there is a solution - and I found it, all because I live in California. And that solution is... Las Vegas.
Now Las Vegas isn't what it used to be. When I first came here in 1984, Las Vegas was a bastion of free drinks, one dollar shrimp cocktails, and $9.99 prime rib dinners. Back then Vegas wanted you to save ALL OF YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY TO LOSE AT THE TABLES. Vegas didn't see any profit in you spending all of your cash on watered-down drinks. So, there, in Las Vegas, in 1984, Life Was Good - at least good for the visitor. But if you lived there - life sucked. There were no regular restaurants, there were no movie-houses, there were no public swimming pools or cheep amusement parks for your kids. All that you could do while living in Vegas was swelter in the heat, eat out at a drive-thru, and pray every payday that you hit it big on the slots. But then, the Las Vegas Cultural Revolution came - and everything changed.
It began when they tore down the Tropicana - and the The Sands, The Sahara, The Stardust, and The Frontier. Then they rebuilt all of the Las Vegas Strip into a Foody's dreamland, and a rich person's glittering Theme Park. And as multitudes of Michelin Starred Chef's began populating The Strip, hundreds of regular chefs began populating the rest of the city. Suddenly there were Dim Sun restaurants on the outskirts of town, and first-class AYCE Korean BBQ places as far from the strip as you could get. So, that now, in 2023, Las Vegas is not only the hottest place in the USA to move to, but it is also one of the top Restaurant Cities in the whole world. Forget about your $9.99 prime rib dinners - because now you are expected to drop 400 bucks on sushi for two, and a thousand dollars on front row seats at Cirqu de Sole. And to the great surprise of the skeptical Las Vegas Mafia - people do it: thousands of them.
Which brings me to the subject of Penis Envy. Why is that, you ask? Well, what's four feet long and is flung onto your table like an elephant dick? The Masala Dosa Crepe at "Divine Dosa & Biryani," a recently opened authentic Indian Restaurant that is a good ways from the strip. This joint is meant for locals and tourists alike. And don't sell it short, just because it doesn't cater to the gambling crowd (there are no slot machines here). "Divine Dosa & Biryani" offers a modified version of Southwestern Indian Cuisine. Nearly ALL of the dishes here are fundamentally Hindu, and "Pradesh" (the Hindu version of Kosher & Halal), which in its least form means that no animal was killed in order to make the dish. However, because this authentic South Indian Restaurant is located in the USA, and in Las Vegas no less, nearly every dish is offered in a meat version as well. Of course, iconic vegetarian dishes, like Saag Paneer" and "Matter Paneer" do not have meat versions, most curries, kormas, masalas, and vindaloos do have them. So you meat eaters, the many of you, are safe. But you might be surprised how fulfilling a good Saag Paneer can be, even if it doesn't have meat in it. Also, vegetarian or not, this place is most famous for it's 4 foot long version of Masala Dosa, which cones with more than half a dozen delicious dipping sauces.
This is a solid restaurant, with a great menu filled with curries, korma, tikka masala, and vindaloo. Come and try it for yourself, if you can stand the spicy heat. Of course, it's not going to cost $9.99, but it won't be hundreds of dollars either. It is just a regular place, with excellent Indian food. Eat it and you will see. This place is good. Salam.
