Carmie L.
Yelp
This is the kind of place you walk out of feeling angry and cheated because you've just paid over $40 for a lunch of what is essentially terrible diet food. "Clean, wholesome eating" in this context, is code for random "healthy" "power" foods mixed together in tiny portions that leave you wanting. Do not go here if you are very hungry because you will walk out hangry.
The lime cilantro shrub is literally one of, if not the worst things I have ever had to drink in my life. It tasted like apple cider vinegar was undrinkable. I don't think there was any sweetener in this drink. So it just tasted like acid (lime) + acid (vinegar) and made my stomach hurt, even with just a couple sips. It was $5, thanks.
Also had the eggplant wrap. The portions were underwhelming, like the wrap was as thick as a skinny pickle. The actual pieces of grilled eggplant, when I got some, was lovely. But the wrap also had yogurt, tomato, and pickled onions AKA ACID ACID and MORE ACID. The side salad was literally whole pieces of lettuce over dressing in a bland tahini sauce. I couldn't even finish that, either. No protein or fat in this dish, so it's not balance or satisfying, just upsetting. $14.
Last, had the poke bowl. The little plump gems of tuna were wonderful, but the bizarre concoction of the rest of the bowl was disappointing, too. It has a ponzu sauce (citrus), pickled veggies (mostly giant bits of cauliflower) and kimchi.... say it with me ACID, ACID, ACID. $16.
It was an excruciating meal. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Just depressing, badly flavored food... like why? There was just nothing interesting happening with flavor, just one note, ACID; no interesting texture or color... just bad "healthy" cooking for the "I'm not on a diet but I only eat clean" crowd.
Not only that, but it's named after Eve, the first woman in Abrahamic religious traditions. That gendered concept, plus the type of food being served, reads to me, again, as let's control your body. This place is about denial and scarcity, not pleasure or abundance or indulgence or making your own decisions. UGH.
This place deeply angers me. Next.