Bocephus J.
Yelp
Filippo's....what's all this chatter about? Lots of good reviews and who doesn't like a good slice? So I stroll down the hill, politely turn away two kids who tried to hit me up for cash as well as a lady meth-head who had less teeth than a one year old. Walk in the front door of this joint and it's right in your face, "Home of the largest pie in town". Behind the counter, all with similar scowls, are Vito, Salvatore, and Domenic...glaring at me like I better not bitch about the vig or it's in the Raritan River wearing concrete shoes for me. So I ask the old wise guy for a slice of cheese and a plate of spaghett, cuz Keto's on hold today. He doesn't take my money, tells me I'll pay later, which is code for "sit down and STFU". And let me tell ya, between Domenic's amount of hair on his Popeye sized forearms or the incredible look of disgust, like I'm his only son and let him down by not joining the Marines, I'm kinda scared. So I sit...and I wait. The younger guy, I'll call him Vito, brings my slice and a plate of pasta with a side loaf of bread, and again tells me I'll pay later. I couldn't help but inspect the slice for gray arm hairs that might have migrated off the old man's arms, seriously, I've seen primates with less hair on their arms. Seems to be all clear, so I dive in. The slice was a solid 8.5. Undercarriage was perfect, crust soft but crunchy, sauce and cheese the right proportion. And the grease rolled off that slice it made me look like a mallard swimming next to the Exxon Valdez. The pasta though? Over cooked noodles that broke when I put a good fork on 'em. The sauce was meant for the pies, not the pasta and if there is such a thing....too much melted mozzarella. So much that you feel like the only people that could chew and swallow that much Mozzarella also have solid careers on pornhub. Relax, I ain't judging.
So I'll sum it up, these wise guys deliver a damn good pizza, and let's be honest, that's what their claim to fame is. Make sure you show the Godfather the respect he's earned when you order and you'll be rewarded with an excellent slice of pie, but only pizza people, listen to me, skip the pasta.