Corey C.
Yelp
I'm a carnivorous man by nature. That's not to say I don't like my plants, I just like them with my meat. Hell, I won't even eat an apple by itself unless I have some pork belly to chase it with. I've had vegan meals before, and enjoyed them, but those are usually ethnic based recipes, mostly Ethiopian or Thai dishes. I've had one or two "burgers" or "tacos" that I would say are better than OK, especially if I've had a few white claws beforehand.
So there's my usual perspective, just for reference. Ok?
Now... here is what I experienced at this more than fantastic food cart:
I can count my top favorite burgers on less than two hands. They usually have some kind of micro-farmed animal protein, an extra fancy dairy based cheese, usually aged in a cave with alien artifacts, or made by monks or something, a rare veggie like cute little baby ferns, or dandelion leaves or something, maybe morel mushrooms marinated in Alaskan sea water... anyway, you get the point.
I had the burger here. Today. And it's in my top three best burgers of my entire life. That is a fact.
Not just that, but of all my favorite sandwiches? Yeah. Definitely top three still. I absolutely fell in love with it.
It has a beet based patty, how that works, I don't know. You'll have to ask them. It had vegan cheese on it. Last time someone asked me if I wanted vegan cheese, my old grumpy ass snorted: "if by vegan, you mean it comes from vegan cows? Sure." It had some kind of marinated pickles, that I'd have gladly eaten by the handfuls. And it was on a really great toasted bun.
Wary of this setup, (I was eating this on a dare, mind you. I don't seek out vegan burgers) I have it a sniff first to make sure I wasn't about to bite into fermented cardboard, as has often been my experience with vegan food. The aroma was... Gosh, how can I put this?
Almost sensual.
If you like food as much as I like food, you understand what I just said. Anyway...
I took a bite. That was a mistake. I should not have taken a bite. The next thing you know I'm moaning. So I stop and look around, but nobody seems to notice, so I start cramming this work of art in my mouth, letting it crumble in my hands and all over my mustache. Little chunks of meatless love snack falling back into my to-go box. Mind you, this is the year 2020. You can die just from touching something and then touching your face. I'm like on a suicide mission to enjoy every fricken crumb. A friend of mine walks toward the table, cautiously eyeing me, obvious to the fact that I'm in a slight frenzy, and asks if I'm enjoying my meal.
"Hey, I need a straw that's not already in use. Big enough to fit bits of this burger in. Small enough to fit in my nostril. I'm going to cut this damn thing into lines and snort it." That was my actual response. She'll back me up.