Cat K.
Yelp
Oh, Oxford Palace. Why must you suck so bad? I'm actually sad as I write this review. I wanted to like you, I really did. But I am an honest Yelper. Must tell the truth.
Memories? Heck yeah. At a really fobby period in my life (yes, surprisingly, I was a pseudo-fob), I was knee-deep in celebrity worship - drooling especially hard for young, lanky boys with fuzz balls pinned to their long hairs, wearing brightly colored, equally fuzzy overalls, with fluffy visors and tons of makeup. Yeah, I loved Korean boy bands.
I had many a crazy night in junior high with my mom driving me and my friends all over Ktown to hunt down our beloved boy bands after concerts. Oxford Palace was one of our most frequently visited destinations. Back then, it seemed posh and opulent.
Either it's gone to seed in the last 10 years, or my childhood memories are rose-tinted. I can't confess to know for sure, but I have a sinking suspicion that perhaps it's the first choice.
I recently was a bridesmaid at a wedding, and the venue was Oxford Palace. My BFF (also a bridesmaid) and I got a room there for the night before so that we could be (a) close to the bride, (b) close to the salon, and (c) had a place to keep all our stuff during the wedding the next day.
I think it was almost $200/night in mid-November. Whatever. We paid, and we got led to... the dumpiest room I've ever seen in my life. It was worse than a motel, I swear. The furniture was drab and old, the bedding was lumpy, and the bathroom was so super ghetto.
They have no room service. They have no vending machines. They don't have jack!
We didn't spend much time in the room (we went out to a birthday party the night before the wedding, plus we were busy all the next morning), but we had one incident that just PLUMMETED their ratings down to a negative if I could go that low.
It was just an hour or so after we had checked in. We were busy getting ready for the birthday party, and one of us had to pee. I mean, we're not stupid. It's not like we stuff wads of toilet paper into the toilet. But we DO use toilet paper in general.
Anyways, the first time we tried to use the toilet, the toilet backed up. No, it didn't flood, but it definitely wouldn't flush anymore. Finally, we called down to the front desk.
ME: Excuse me, but could you send someone up to fix our toilet?
FRONT DESK: What's wrong with the toilet, ma'am?
ME: Oh, it won't flush.
FD: Did you try pushing down the lever? (are you serious?!)
ME: Um, of course. It doesn't flush.
FD: Are you sure? (wtf?)
ME: Um, yes, I'm sure.
FD: Oh. We'll send someone up in the morning.
ME: (incredulous) Excuse me? In the morning?!
FD: We don't have anyone here who can fix it.
ME: All you need is a plunger or something!
FD: We don't have anyone here who can fix it.
ME: So you want me to wait until tomorrow?
FD: Yes, ma'am.
ME: But it's only 8pm. You want me to wait 12+ hours? For the toilet?
FD: Yes, ma'am. There's nothing we can do.
ME: Then can't you switch us out to another room?
FD: No, ma'am.
ME: But we NEED a working toilet. It's the LAW or something.
FD: Sorry ma'am, but all our rooms are booked.
BULLSHIT. It's Oxford Palace for gosh sakes! It was dead empty! I couldn't believe it. We ended up spending the night in the bridal suite because we didn't have a working toilet in our PAID FOR room.
Totally ghetto.