Catherine T.
Yelp
I'd heard about the free pancake deal yesterday, and I decided I wanted me summa dat fo' dinner last night.
As you can imagine, it was crowded. I was actually a little hesitant about going, not because I knew it would be crowded, but because I wasn't sure they still served my favorite dish: cheese blintzes. I had checked out their online menu a couple of months ago, but I didn't see cheese blintzes listed.
So the first thing I did when I entered the restaurant was looked at the menu. [stream of consciousness] They still have cheese blintzes. Perfect! Wait, what the hell? There's a giant pancake person staring at me. And its name is Susie. Gross. Stop staring at me! [end stream of consciousness]
I got seated at a nice table that was in the back near a window, not in the middle of all the craziness. My waitress, Veronica, immediately came over and took my order. I got the cheese blintzes with whipped cream instead of sour cream, a plate of the free pancakes, and an iced tea.
As Veronica walked away, I noticed she was wearing Mardi Gras beads. I surveyed the restaurant and noticed almost all of the servers and bussers were wearing Mardi Gras beads. Okay, I know my schedule is a little off since I got laid off on Friday, but I'm pretty sure Fat Tuesday was LAST Tuesday. So they're off by a week. Am I still in bed dreaming? Did I go back in time? Where's Doc Brown when you need him?!
My food came out in record time. As much as I wanted to ravage the cheese blintzes, I gave the pancakes a try first. They were cool and almost hard. The butter in the middle hadn't even started to melt yet. I spread the butter as best I could on the other two pancakes, and I covered the cakes in an atrocious amount of Old Fashioned syrup. I decided to let that sit for a bit and concentrate on my blintzes.
As I cut into the first blintz, I saw something strange. I thought it was a burnt piece of hash browns. Upon closer inspection, I discovered it was a strawberry stem. Um, okay? I pushed that aside and started cutting again. And discovered another strawberry stem. Is this a joke? I found three in all. Between bouts of raking through my blintzes for hidden strawberry stems, I very much enjoyed the dish, as usual.
The pancakes, meantime, finally had a collection of melted butter in the middle, so I concentrated on the middle portion of the cakes. They were still a bit hard and incredibly dry. No amount of syrup made those cakes moist. I've never seen anything like it. They should make rain coats out of this pancake batter.
I ate the middle out of my pancakes as I watched Susie go from table to table to watch people eat. It was when she stopped at the table nearest me that I discovered that was a guy inside the costume. Stinks to be you, man!
I wanted to get a close-up picture of Susie on my way out, but he went outside right before me for a smoke break. At least, I assume it was a smoke break. I stuck around in my car for a few minutes, hoping to be able to catch a big fluffy fake pancake with a ciggy in its mouth, but he ran off somewhere.
I'm sure I'll go back to IHOP, but I doubt I'll get any pancakes. And, guys, strawberry stems go in the trash, not in the food.