Amy L.
Yelp
This place waaaay over-promises and under-delivers! It's wildly over-priced, greasy, and bland, and the employees don't even make eye contact. The slices of pizza sit in the front window to entice potential customers, and it worked on me. The doorway area was cluttered, making it really hard to maneuver my wheelchair inside. I was immediately met by an ordering machine in a cramped tiny foyer. I found the lack of human interface a bit off-putting, but went along with it, since this was clearly about convenience, not customer service. I ordered a slice of the "Sweet Bianca", which advertised "talleggio, fig jam, ricotta, mozzarella, and something called 'brick cheese'". To my shock and horror, it was $14 for one slice!! I almost walked out right then and there, but I'd been wanting to try Detroit-style pizza, so I decided to just splurge and hope it was mind-bendingly delicious.
I waited in the crowded foyer with several other people, as we all tried to squeeze in, since it was hella cold and blustery outside, so very unpleasant to wait out there. There were two employees, neither of whom smiled, greeted any customers, made any eye contact with or even spoke to any of us. While I waited, I took note of my surroundings: Most of the space was their food staging and storage areas. It was very haphazard, had no visual appeal, and was poorly lit.
Finally my slice was ready and I took it out to the parklet in front. It was really cold outside, but I wanted to at least try a bite of this costly slice while it was still fresh and hot from the oven, before I rolled home with it. I took a bite, and was immediately vastly disappointed! Greasy, bland, not really evenly warmed, never mind hot, with bland cheese that was already congealed on top. The little mounds of ricotta and fig jam were few and far between, so I had to take a few more bites to try to taste that part...but unfortunately that was a letdown, too. The ricotta was pretty flavorless, and the fig jam was waaaay too sweet in way too thick a puddle, making that bite read more as a dessert than a piece of pizza! The crust was really thick like focaccia, but super-greasy and flavorless...and there was A LOT of it! It also didn't taste particularly fresh, more like it had been sitting around for a while. The ratio of cheese to bread was way off, and the whole thing was just really bland. Talleggio cheese is an assertive cheese, but I didn't taste even a hint of it. Other than some of the grocery store frozen pizzas of the 1980's, this was the worst pizza I've ever had...and I paid $14 plus tax for that honor!!
I won't ever be back, not if it was the only food place open. I'd sooner crack a can of tuna at home, because at least that would have some flavor and wouldn't cost me an arm and a leg! And maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I like employees to look up at me, acknowledge my existence, and gawd forbid, maybe even smile or greet me! I wouldn't recommend Joyride Pizza to anyone!