Stephen H.
Yelp
My fraternal twin brother and I celebrate the anniversary date of the surgery when I donated a kidney to him. KR Steakbar was our 5 year anniversary.
I ordered the spinalis steak. I was soo good that I am reliving the experience again as I write this review. There is no other steak as good as this. There is no other cut of beef to compare it to. It's the Shohei Ohtani of steak. It's in a league all its own.
There are ribeyes, filets, NY strip, etc. They are distant runners' up in the beef race. They are bronze medal winners and should not be standing on the podium with spinalis. They are parental disappointments in the beef sibling rivalry. They are the 16 year old dented, silver Kia Sportage compared to the custom ordered just for you, just rolled off the assembly line with the new car smell, the Rolls Royce of beef, the spinalis. Those cuts of beef are a toothache, the mother-in-law, the end of Christmas break, "the damp, drizzly November in my soul" [Moby Dick], the realization that Mom and Dad play favorites and you're not it; and in fact, the realization that MomnDad are the tooth fairy (dirty rotten liars); the girl you have a crush on doesn't like you, the delayed flight because the pilot is sick, the lost luggage of beef, the slices that the cows are ashamed of, the flat tire on the way to the emergency room, the bait and switch when it seemed to be good to be true and it was.
They're the Christmas day when you didn't get the BB gun to shoot your eye out, a birthday party where no one showed up (bastards, but I'm not resentful); they're ones who let the dogs out, the black on the roulette table where you put all your life's savings on red, the all F's on your report card, the bully who stole your paper route money. These beefs are a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
and finally, to put a fine bow on it, the Donald Trump of beef when you saw off a piece, put it in your mouth, and discover an orange hair.
On the other hand spinalis is the Mt. Everest of meat, pinnacle of millions of years of evolution of beef, meat's best kept secret, the Alpha and Omega of meat, the Hallmark movie where girl gets boy, the Fields Medal, MacArthur Grant, and Nobel Prize, the end of the quest you've been on, the puppy you got when you were a kid, the winning lottery ticket, the Light in August, the fast lane in a traffic jam, the upgrade to first class, inclusion into the inner sanctum, the Harvard acceptance letter, the Navy SEAL Team 6 and Delta Force, the Monday you wake up and realize you have a 3 day weekend of beef, the beef that will make a vegetarian switch sides, the beef that touches places in your brain you never knew you had, the 10 pounds you've been trying to lose before your high school reunion and succeed, the idol you'd worship if it weren't for the 2nd Commandment, the Playboy your parents bought when you were 14 because you 'liked the articles' and the $.50 you made each time you loaned it to your philistine, thick-browed Cro Magnon friends.
I also write college recommendations for your high school seniors.