ben l.
Yelp
When our waitress corrected our (correct) pronunciation of empanada*, I was afraid. But it wasn't bad, on the cusp of traditional and fusion.
Austere compared to sister restaurant Zuzu down the block, which exuded such inviting warmth that I almost insisted we abandon our plan and go there instead. But lamb tartare beckoned and so I obeyed.
Superior Farms lamb tartare (bagna cauda, yogurt, $11): no complaints about the raw lamb. And at $11 this dish felt like a steal. My beloved Local's Corner (may it rest in peace)'s tartare was just beef and it was twice as much. But here the toast points, though crunchy, buttery, and full of tasty arterial death, were burnt.
Mushroom escabeche (blue potato mash, hazelnuts, $4): good; the tiny dab of mashed potato was the best part.
Rockfish ceviche (charred tomatoes, tomato, avocado, and not mentioned, cilantro microgreens, $13): fishy through the ceviche-ing medium. However, the charred tomatoes, tomatillos, and avocado were outstanding together. Too bad the fish wasn't the star of this, the most expensive plate of the night.
The tortilla chips that came with were puffed like those weird fried strips some Americanized Chinese joints give you with that gross sweet pinky orangey "duck sauce," which is not what I want in a tortilla chip. And also somehow too corn-y (how is that possible?).
Also, not a fan of cilantro. Can tolerate some in niu rou mien, banh mi, or pho, but otherwise keep that shite away!
Oxtail empanada (natural red wine jus, $8/3): pastry was soft and flaky at the same time.
Beef tongue (organic egg, fennel $12): too mushy. The yolk was lost in the fennel and these weird fuzzy leaves that were like eating lamb's ear leaves.
Gilda (pickled boquerones, piparras pepper, olive, $3/2 sticks): very mackerely so if that's not for you don't order this.
Head cheese croqueta ($3): a single hush puppy with a wet dog food center. But being organ meat saved it from being boring.
"Clams sauteed" (LT chorizo, tomatoes, toasted bread, $12): yucky flavor profile; some of the clams fought back when I tried to open them. More burnt buttered toast redeemed this, though (even as it cut up the roof of my mouth and played havoc with my blood sugar).
Spanish is not my strong suit, as I failed to realize bocadillos were sliders, i.e. more bread. So of course we ended up with all of them, lol. Meant to order 2 but went back and forth over which ones, so I guess she (accidentally-on-purpose?) put in an order for all 3 (and had someone else run these plates to us). But it turned out okay because I loved the one we intended to skip.
Fried flounder (pickled shallots, charred lemon aioli, $9/2): an elevated Filet O Fish. Not as good as the salmon sandwich at Moo Creamery in Bakersfield I can't shut up about, but it's flounder. It's not a fair fight.
Chicken thigh (apple, cabbage slaw, peri peri sauce $8/2): an unexpected hit. Despite being roughly the same price as a whole chicken from Nando's Peri Peri in Silver Spring, MD, it was spicy and delicious!
Pork ribs (chili pepper relish, jalapeño, carrots, onion, $8/2): predictably too sweet for my Asian taste buds but still pretty good.
Crispy pork ears: sweet, spicy, minty, fried to hard crumbles like the last dregs of bacon bits (which are not real bacon) at the bottom of the shaker. Not the spicy Chinese pig ears of my childhood, the fatty-bacon-like springy crunch I expect of ear cartilage. I was channeling my old Cavalier King Charles spaniel Dante (RIP) as I ate them. I know they would not have been the right texture for him but he would've inhaled them all anyway!
Blood sausage: never came. They didn't charge us for it and we were stuffed so we let it go.
Idiazabal flan ($5): wrong texture and flavor profile. I want jiggly Mexican market flan.
Kakahuete y Chocolate ($5): big, soft peanut butter cup. My Spanish can't be *that* atrocious if I remembered kakahuete means peanut. See, watching Will and Grace wasn't a waste of time after all.
Our waitress was at it again, bringing 2 coffees when the bae ordered 1 cafe con miel (honey, $5). I detest honey except unheated Rawesome honey, so I never would've ordered this. I would've gotten double espresso ($3.50) or cafe con leche (milk, $5), if I even drank coffee at night. She slung the cups and hightailed it out of there before we could react.
Tried it just because it was put in front of me. Didn't like it. Didn't send it back because the bae happily slurped it up.
Leaky bathroom faucet.
They played The Specials!
3.5. Adding/omitting items tips the scales. The chicken I could forgive but doing it twice... and with blechy honey! Unforgivable. Lol
Not against returning but I'd rather try Zuzu (and spend half the night imitating Professor Farnsworth calling out "Pizuzuuuuuuu!").
*hint: there is no tilde. Never have I seen it spelled empañada, not even on the menu here. And inb4 you ask, they did spell jalapeño with a tilde.