Scott C.
Yelp
What Was I Thinking ?
Took the family to Sunday lunch after the River Market, worst idea I have had since fostering a blind wombat back during Covid.
First Mistake - Should have known when the server brought me a Coke instead of the Dr.Pepper , she set it down and says, " Sorry we're out of Dr. pepper, so I brought you a coke instead. Is that allright ? ".
Next up , greasy grimy glistening basket of chips, and four ramekins of what we presumed was salsa.
The wax paper was dripping greasy , and it tasted so old that they probably had to put a pound of Aspercream in the fryer just to get it going for the day.
Also, might begin to explain the terrible taste!
The Salsa ? V8 juice with a micro-dose of concentrated cayenne pepper.
At this point , we just cut our losses and bail for Jack In The Box.
Then it dawned on me, all of us.
This wasn't " lunch " ,...this was some kind of weird parallel food universe, beckoning us to it's health code violating culinary inner core.
What To Order ? Think Safety Not Salmonella.
I ordered 2 crispy beef tacos, rice and beans. I thought to myself, " Self , if I get chained to a toilet for the next 12 hours, don't let it be from the usual chicken culprit."
After I let the BP oil Spill 2023 drain out of my tacos, I took a bite.
The taste, the texture and the color of the " meat " was intriguing.
Some dark, some light colored ,some darker colored, some smooshy, some crispy. Then I realized.
This wasn't taco meat , this was monkey. Probably Sub Saharan or even Australian.
To top it all off, we were over charged !
I got up and left,, and apparently it was the only functional and non compromised part of my gut at this moment because my wife waited for us to get halfway up the block before telling me how the server girl lunged at them in a huff, and that the manager had to physically throw an arm bar up to stop the aggressive food server.
This " food " was so bad , the Russian Army wouldn't eat it.
Next time I'll trust my gut , although permanently scarred from this experience and just go to Los Compas in Independence.
Excellent everything, and my guy Jacob will take good care of you, and he hardly ever lunges at anybody !