Nahush G.
Yelp
Ordered the regular Burrito with Chicken.
The restaurant has an image of new, trendy, sleek but when you look at the menu, it's extensive!
So, at that point, I'm really excited. Ordering was a bit cumbersome but that's part of the experience. I mean, I'm old enough where I should know how to order in Spanish anyway so that's my bad. Doulingo, here I come!
They have a spice rack, with pickled onions, jalapenos, and a variety of hot sauces for all sorts of Scoville masochists so, I'm stoked! I get one of each, warming up my tastebuds with the ever so subtle pickled onion. Following it up with the jalapeno, dipping that sucker in some green salsa, and then the red salsa, and then...THE FOOD ARRIVES!
I can eat a burrito without it falling apart. In fact, I pride myself on it. I'm a self-proclaimed, pro burrito eater folks. If you want to call me out on that, I accept your challenge. Name the time and place.
I pick it up, annnnd it falls apart. I didn't even get ONE bite in and it's like someone took a samurai sword and sliced open my stomach and my intestines fall out like that one scene from Saving Private Ryan.
Look, I'm ok with this. Especially after I look around to see that everyone else around me, friends & fellow burrito comrades, have spilled their burrito guts onto the handy dandy plate. Kind of amusing actually. Practical joke like. No wonder everyone had forks ready to go. Obviously, I'm a newb at this joint. Gotcha! Check! Moving on...
I take 10 bites. First 5 without any condiments. The next 5 with some Scoovilles. Consensus made. The worst burrito I've ever tasted. It lacked a depth of flavor. The chicken tasted meh. Was it grilled or boiled? The rice was meh. Mushy rice with no flavor. Why was it red though, they must have seasoned it with something? Very unsatisfying.
Then I found out that the whole joint does Vegan Mexican food. BAHAHA! Yes, ok, great, good job all you Vegan do-gooders doing your golly good for the jolly world and whatnot. But bruh. Never trust a skinny brewer...Never trust a vegan Mexican joint unless you're vegan.
Also, it looked like a spot where families bring their kids to introduce them to new flavors without overwhelming them. So, there's that.