Nick R.
Yelp
I'd prefer not to be writing this review. Like my fellow UWSiders, I'm busy. But it would be morally negligent for me to remain silent.
I've had my two worst service experiences in New York, both at this Maman. I waited a year in between, thinking, perhaps, the first was an anomaly. The only anomaly is this Maman's location on Amsterdam Avenue.
The first (in short): it took ten minutes to receive a lukewarm, very watered down, very overpriced cup of coffee. I drink a lot of coffee. Perhaps too much coffee. I told the barista that the coffee was watered down. After some back and forth, she finally relented and made another batch. I waited another ten minutes. The verdict: I would have much preferred the coffee at Bluestone Lane, just a few doors down.
The second (again, in short): it took twenty minutes to receive a scone and a coffee, which I only received upon reminding the barista of my order (I was told to wait in the same area as the line--the space is quite cramped--which resulted in much shifting confusion). The coffee, again, was a little cool. The scone made up for in oil what it lacked in taste. I'd honestly prefer Panera.
Don't let Maman's charming Parisian aesthetic fool you. The UWS location's branch takes the worst elements of Paris--its speed of service, its lack of air conditioning, its sometimes impertinent staff--without taking any of its culinary traditions.
Recommended only as a recommendation to an enemy as a particularly cruel and unusual punishment.
Dante was never able to reach this circle of Hell.
Though, perhaps Trump would enjoy.