Lucien B.
Yelp
Negroni Beverly Hills: the supposed jewel of culinary sophistication, where the glitterati gather and sycophants swoon. Yet, one step into this den of pretension, and it becomes painfully clear that the only thing being served with any consistency is disappointment. Specializing in sushi, pasta, and steak--one might think it a masterstroke of innovation. Alas, it is merely the nadir of culinary confusion.
The decor is a garish display of what can only be described as the fevered fantasies conjured by the housewives of Little Rock, Arkansas, after a particularly indulgent viewing of a Bravo marathon. Swanky? Perhaps. But it's a vulgar, ostentatious kind of swank that screams more of desperation than distinction. Even the most vacuous of celebrities must surely recoil at the sheer gauche horror of it all.
To the food, if one must call it that. Predictably poor in taste and, unsurprisingly, poor tasting. The sushi is a disgrace, with fish so insipid and lifeless one might suspect it had a death wish. The pasta? Overcooked mush that would make any self-respecting Italian weep. And the steak - a travesty, devoid of any semblance of culinary competence and dignity. This menu is a grim parade of tired clichés executed with all the finesse of a sledgehammer.
Negroni Beverly Hills's only claim to anything resembling competence lies in its Negroni cocktails. Yes, they are decent. But in the context of this culinary wasteland, even a serviceable drink feels like a revelation. How this establishment has managed to spawn other locations is a mystery best left unsolved, though one suspects it has more to do with marketing than merit.
To dine at Negroni Beverly Hills is to be assaulted by a barrage of mediocrity and pretentiousness. It's a place where style obliterates substance, and even the style is a shrill, tacky spectacle. For those of questionable sensibilities, this may be paradise. For anyone else, it's a vivid reminder of how far we can fall when taste and decency are cast aside.
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars. Hemingway once wrote, "Never confuse movement with action." At Negroni Beverly Hills, there is plenty of movement but precious little action.
Lucien Bramard.