Isobel C.
Yelp
It's hard to pinpoint with some restaurants why they don't hit the spot. Some, it's alarmingly obvious - the service is surly and the food is poor. But with Ondine, that feels a little unfair. The service wasn't surly, it was dutiful and prompt, but just lacked warmth and sincerity; and the food wasn't poor, just average and underwhelming. I don't particularly like to write negatively about a restaurant and it's not easy contradicting the opinion of a great chef like Tom Kitchin, who recommended Ondine in 'Where Chefs Eat - The Ultimate Insiders Guide'. The irony is, I couldn't get a table in his restaurant, so settled for one of his favourites instead. There you have it. If there's a waiting list, it's for a good reason.
Ondine has built a reputation for its fresh shellfish which was a huge draw for me. I can't imagine ever not starting with oysters if they are featured on the menu; and if they're on a menu that states Oyster Bar Happy Hour, then that's even more of a draw; happy days indeed. Such a pity they limit you to a dozen each. As with most aquatic entities like bivalves, they speak for themselves - or should do at least if sourced well - with only subtle enhancements necessary so as not to divert from their natural properties. Oysters ceviche packed just enough of a punch to lift this little 'Loch Fyne' up without drowning out its sea breeze nuttiness. Crispy oysters in panko breadcrumbs were also very good - the breadcrumbs light and golden and the oyster mayo dip, silky and subtle. But, tasty as they were, cooked oysters can never retain that immediate impact for me; the breadcrumbs are an unnecessary distraction and I long for that initial odour of the ocean. The young twenty-somethings on a date, perched next to me at the Oyster Bar however, couldn't get enough of them. I suspect their palettes were not quite ready for 'au natural' but the joy of eating oysters together in a smart restaurant obviously felt sophisticated and sexy. It is, of course, both of those things, whichever way you decide to eat them.
A 2 course pre theatre menu at £19.00 represented good value for the dishes featured so we opted for that, although our server didn't seem overly impressed when we ordered it at 6.20pm, just before the 6.30pm cut-off. It then crossed my mind .....Happy Hour, Set Menu, House Wine......perhaps we weren't his favourite kind of customers. In retrospect, we should have gone off the a la carte, because if Tom Kitchin is right, 'the shellfish is of fantastic quality' and our oysters had already hinted at that.
Starters on the set-menu may have sounded appealing, but duck and chicken liver parfait was too sweet to sit alongside apple jelly and brioche, the sweetness needed toning down, not bumping up. And smoked haddock chowder was all smoke and no haddock; it lacked refinement and was way too thick and starchy, grateful no doubt for the support of the accompanying cornbread which was contrastingly delicate and light.
Mains were equally disappointing. A small portion of risotto makes no sense on a set menu. It's an inexpensive dish and set menu restrictions or not, a restaurateur can afford to offer more than a starter size portion. However, it would have sufficed had it been a good risotto. The brown crab was in hiding, and the butternut squash was hard and on guard. In contrast to this, the size of my 'fish of the day' was almost intimidating. A huge filleted plaice in burnt (as in not browned burnt, but burnt burnt) brown shrimp & nutmeg butter, looked like it had been slapped on the wrong size plate. There wasn't any room for manoeuvre, let alone garnish, but that didn't matter because there wasn't any; not even a smear or shred of anything, just this big old slab of fish. Strange how it never occurred to them how unattractive this looked or where a side dish would sit if their clever avoidance of any garnish did have the desired effect. If I was working on the pass I think I'd have to flag this with the chef, even if he is Roy Brett. How odd it must sound, me griping about the size of the plate, not the portion! Sadly, the portion, however large, didn't deliver either. The fish was watery and bland and the burnt burnt butter, with no hint of brown shrimp, did nothing to lift it. I felt my heart sink a little; I so wanted to enjoy it to erase any judgements of its initial appearance, but it wasn't to be.
I'm not going to go there with the décor, I'm quite sure most people would love it. The sleek, chic, monotone interiors and elevated position gives the place a sense of drama I suppose. Would I go back? No. But if you do, perhaps heed Tom's advice - stick with the shellfish. And my advice, for what it's worth, don't stray from the a la carte path.