Rory M.
Yelp
I can't in good conscience give this place five stars. It is a bit Corny, it is a bit Trashy, and it is more than a bit Old. Our room cards de-magnetized before we could make it from reception to our suite, the rooms were clearly built before I was born, the food is "comfort" and not much else, the entertainment is a little silly. At times, it can be a bit confusing to figure out how things work and where things are--the map they provided was not entirely accurate, and it's not always easy to figure out how to get started with different activities.
But at the same time, how much of that matters? At the end of the day, we had a phenomenal time here. The suite was gorgeous, the pool was warm and toasty, the jacuzzi was luxuriously spacious, the bedroom was beautiful, and the sauna was there too. There is an endless assortment of lawn games, there is a lake for lazy rowing, and there is a surprising amount of golf cart trackage, enough that you can feel a bit indulgent while romping around in one of those (and if you're enough of a child at heart to be at a resort like this, I've got to imagine you appreciate something as silly and pure as racing golf carts around in forests and on hills).
There were only a couple of genuine disappointments. The nature trail is more like a nature strip--honestly, the aforementioned golf cart trails are more nature-trail-y than the thing listed as one on the map. And I WILL say that I was surprised at the extraordinary (and unlisted) service charge for my stay: I assumed that service was part of what my package was paying for. Neither of these are deal-breakers, but they're the two things I genuinely wish I'd been aware of going in.
As a counterpoint, it is lovely that they let you use the resort for the full day AFTER you've checked out, and that they let you use it before your room is ready on the day you arrive. It makes for a nice, lazy stay, without pressure before or after.
Ultimately, go to this place with some awareness of what it is and isn't, and with some understanding of the relationship you're going to it with. If you're looking for exquisite taste and world-class entertainment, find a nice jazz cafe or a painstakingly-cared-after bed-and-breakfast. If you want an elaborate suite with VERY obvious ideas about what romance looks like, and with a lot of options for being couple-y in the outdoors, this place will check a lot of your boxes. Know what things are and aren't your bag, and skip the pieces that don't fit. (We can't review the entertainment, because we suspected the entertainment wasn't quite our style.) I'm leaving with nothing but fond memories, and--after a bit of nervousness making the initial booking--can't say I have a regret in the world. Something tells me this place will be a cherished memory for years to come.
One last note: I saw a number of reviews complaining about the staff and their demeanor. I would like to leave bad reviews OF those reviews, because the staff was perfectly pleasant and down to earth. Again: I think it's a matter of expectation. They acted like people who were working at a resort, which I think is completely fine for resort staff, and they all seemed like lovely people too. There is a kind of staff service which is practically a kind of theatre; you typically see it in places where those staff members each expect $30+ tips. Per-person, naturally. That kind of service can be delightful, but it's its own world of experience; people who expect that out of every service industry employee they ever meet are, frankly, psychotic. Besides, I bet you could slip thirty bucks to anybody who works here and they'd become your best friend pretty quickly.
Anyway, I hope those people got paid some of that exorbitant service fee charge. Everybody could use some golf-cart joyride money. That's my philosophy, and I'm sticking to it.