William B.
Yelp
Roseland is far and away, easily and handily, the worst of the major music venues in Portland. This is unfortunately a major bummer, since they book some of the best touring acts to come to town. This alone however, is not enough to save the Roseland from its numerous detractors starting with the #1 most glaring issue:
-poor venue management that REALLY does not care about the safety of concert attendees. This is most blatantly exhibited by the venue's failure to provide ANY free water, unless you're 21+ and spending the whole show in the horribly designed, cramped, busy-to-the-point-of-being-unsafe upper bar level. In fact, the venue seems intent on this, as if they have gone out of their way to restrict showgoers, often at high-energy shows, from safely hydrating themselves in favor of profit. The evidence? 1. They keep the water in the bathroom sinks hot/warm to dissuade people from drinking it. If you thought you'd be able to refresh yourself by shoveling sinkwater into your mouth as I did my first time, you're fresh out of luck. 2. The only place to buy 5 DOLLAR PLASTIC water bottles is cash only, as is the whole venue. So if you didn't bring any, you'll have to withdraw cash from their ATMs and fork over an absurd withdrawal fee. 3. Okay, so you've bought your shitty plastic water bottle for approximately $7.50 factoring in that ATM fee. Remember when I mentioned that there's a dispenser of cold water upstairs at the bar? I sure did, so I went up there with my empty plastic bottle to refill it, given that I yknow needed to stay hydrated for my health. Get this: if you refill a plastic bottle with water from the bar, security will TELL YOU THAT ITS NOT ALLOWED AND MAKE YOU POUR YOUR WATER OUT OR CHUG IT BEFORE RETURNING TO THE CONCERT FLOOR. I was legitimately floored when this happened to me. Not only is this a supremely wasteful practice, but how one venue can care so much about profit over the BASIC SAFETY NEEDS OF AVERAGE CONCERT ATTENDEES is almost impressive. I told the security lady how supremely fucked up this practice was before re-joining the crowd.
That paragraph alone is enough to justify the 1-star review here but wait, there's more. The venue layout SUCKS. There's a couple random massive columns in the middle of the floor so if you get stuck behind one of those at a busy show, you're kind of fucked. As aforementioned, the balcony bar is imcredibly hard to get in and out of due to how small the hallways/stairways and waiting area are. It actually took me 7-10 minutes to get past the crowd of sardine-canned people waiting for drinks to go up and down from the bar, I'm not kidding. This place ABSOLUTELY oversells and overpacks their shows, to the point where anytime I attend a show there, I'm legitimately concerned about if ~god forbid~ an emergency situation were to occur, because everyone there would be fucked. There's only one staircase in/out of the main event space, which poses a huge safety concern. I recommend leaving shows here early or starting to leave when you know the headliner is nearing the end of their set, because otherwise you'll be stuck waiting in a tight crowd of people pushing to leave for 5 minutes.
Also the acoustics are bad. I've been to 3-4 shows here now, the most recent was Stereolab - phenomenal band who's a legacy act at this point, and the Roseland just butchered this show's acoustics. I could barely make out the lovely lyrics that Laetitia Sadler was singing! I'd overlook this if the tickets for shows here were dirt cheap, but they're actually pretty overpriced. Ticket prices for shows at the Roseland are generally comparable to ticket prices at the Crystal Ballroom- another downtown venue that's much nicer, bigger, and safer with better sonic qualities.
In conclusion: fuck the Roseland. It sucks to say, but this is quite literally the only venue in town that I will refuse to support again. Even if an artist I absolutely love (many of them book here sadly) has a show here, I'll usually opt to skip it out of my contempt for this shithouse of a venue. My message to any artists curious about booking a Portland stop on your tour: please consider literally any other venue in town. The Crystal and Wonder ballrooms are both great alternatives. You are actually doing your art and your fans a disservice if you book a gig at The Roseland.