Victor L.
Yelp
I've been to Welcome to the Johnson's way too many times, and I've never had the inkling to want to go to the Magician across the street with it's old school office/diner blinds. But I was pleasantly surprised at how nice it was, it had that grungy bathroom-tile floor and long bar on the right with tables just about everywhere; it's definitely a group spot. whoever was selecting stuff on the jukebox was an idiot, but they had some good stuff (it's a digital one).
I had a problem, and like a lot of bars in the LES nowadays, with the crowd. You had some cool cats and kittens and whatnot, but seriously what's with the yuppies. I couldn't fucking stand them, they were heckling my shirt all night and I totally went up to one of them and was like you got a problem, then we've got problems.
But more hilarity was when one of our friends came a little later, and I was talking to my friend, and when they greeted, they just started making out, I'm talking she came up to him, and it was like two vacuums going at it, it was so forceful she was leaning backward like face-grabbing forceful. the rest of our group was like, uh what the forkfuck. I guess this had been going on for a week or two already and it came to a head.
At least he made out with another girl by the time the night was over. Mike you are a player, the most unkempt player ever.
Anywho, the other embarrassing point in the night, and I don't know why I always am a self-defeating SOB, but this girl who actually liked my shirt was like:
"what if i gave you my shirt to wear, and I wore your shirt?"
me being an idiot, for some reason the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "well, uh, my boobs are fake."
She responded with, "Well, so are mine"
and of course, I ruined it for myself. I said:
"I highly doubt that."
Needless to say that conversation ended.