Albert T.
Yelp
We visited Skirted Heifer for lunch after hiking in the morning. This is a tiny store with barely enough room to move given all the customers crammed inside. Ordering is pretty easy at the front counter and the employees all super friendly. I ordered our food to eat there but for some reason they packaged it up for takeout. We unpacked everything as quickly as possible to dig in - hopefully the food didn't steam too much in the bag!
The Classic Skirted Heifer ($10.95) - Of course we had to start with the classic, the one that made Skirted Heifer famous. As the name implies, it's a pretty classic burger with the patty, lettuce, tomato, pickle, onion, and sauce on a bun. The specialty is the cheese skirt, which is basically a huge mound of cheese flattened and cooked on the flat top. When I ordered, I expected it to be similar to a crisp baked parmesan crisp, but it's not like that at all. Instead, it's super cheesy and caramelized, becoming a chewy, fatty, and almost leathery layer instead of developing much crisp. They use a ton of cheese in the skirt, making the burger extremely heavy and rich. The burger patty itself is cooked excellently. There's still a slight bit of pink inside, which leaves the patty fatty and moist. The exterior is charred well, giving plenty of flavor. The veggies all work well together, but can't quite manage to dampen the richness of the entire sandwich. Heifer sauce, which is basically fry sauce, a combination of mayo, ketchup, seasoning salt, and pickle juice, is slathered on the bun, adding even more richness. Speaking of the bun - the menu lists it as a garlic focaccia. I wouldn't exactly say it's focaccia. While it has some characteristics of one, it's more of a cross between a normal burger bun and focaccia. It's topped with plenty of minced garlic on top and is blistered very well, along with a great toasty crisp on the cut halves. The burger as a whole is a very enjoyable eat, albeit very heavy and filling. I actually wish I had gone with regular cheese instead of the skirt! (4/5)
Burger of the Week ($10.95) - The Octoberfest, the Burger of the Week, includes beef, swiss cheese, sauerkraut, pickled red onions, beer mustard, and mayo all on a homemade pretzel bun. The bun is super chewy, kind of bouncy, yet tears apart with ease like a real soft pretzel. It's toasted very well, creating an almost blackened crunchy area especially along the edge. The exterior of the bun is nicely blistered, although I didn't find it especially crisp, nor was there any salt baked on top. It's definitely like a soft pretzel as the name states, but has some characteristics of a normal burger bun to be soft enough to work with the interior ingredients. As with the other burger, the patty is caramelized very well on both sides, giving it plenty of flavor on the exterior complementing the beefy taste inside. There's plenty of fat so the interior remains juicy rather than drying out. They add just a bit of sauerkraut on the bottom - in this case what seems to be quick pickled cabbage, adding a very slight tang but not much other texture. On top of the patty there's some pickled red onion, offering a bit more in texture and taste than the sauerkraut, and finally a bunch of whole grain mustard and mayo, adding creaminess and additional moisture. It all comes together into a great bite. This is an excellent burger, and way easier to eat compared to the Classic. (5/5)
Belgian Fries ($3.25) - These are thin fries cooked nice and crisp. The put a ton of salt and sugar on top, making this a fun salty and sweet snack. They go well with any of the dipping sauces they have, which include ranch, heifer sauce, ketchup, and we also requested curry ketchup. (5/5)
I do want to comment that all the tables (we tried several) seem to always be super sticky and disgusting. This is even after I saw them wiping down the tables. Also, I found all the food to be a bit on the salty side, but I would still visit again. They definitely focus way more on the food than atmosphere or cleanliness.
Bathrooms - One tiny unisex room, very damp inside and not very clean.