Sette Osteria

We’re down in Washington DC visiting for a few days and this is one of the restaurants that I chose for dinner. It was only about a half a mile walk from our Airbnb and the weather is very warm down here so it was a nice night for a walk. As soon as we walked into the restaurant it was very warm in there, They really should’ve had the a/c on. We were offered to eat outside in the tent, but we decided to stay inside anyway. The space was very busy and it can get loud. We both started out with a glass of wine, which both were good. For appetizers, we shared the focaccia bread basket and arancini. When the focaccia came out, it really just looked like baked pizza dough. It was very thin. It was seasoned with garlic and spices, it did have good flavor overall. The Arancini with red sauce was good. I had the cavatelli with broccoli rabe and crumbled sausage and I thought it was very good. My partner had rigatoni with salmon and a vodka sauce, and he thought it was very bland and not enough tomato flavor but it did have quite a bit of salmon in there. Not sure if we’ll be back in the area anytime soon, but I would be willing to try it again if we were down in DC for a couple days.

Had an amazing business dinner at Sette Osteria and was thoroughly impressed! We had a large group of 32 people, and the staff did a fantastic job accommodating us with two spacious tables and a thoughtfully curated pre-fixe menu. The food was outstanding - beautifully presented and full of flavor. I highly recommend the Grilled Salmon for the main course - it was perfectly cooked - and the Tiramisu for dessert, which was rich and delicious. Their cocktails were also top-tier. From the ambiance to the service to the food, everything made for a wonderful dining experience. Definitely a place I'd return to, whether for business or personal occasions.

Food was good. The bolognese was nothing special. I rate this place a 3 star because of the service. The menu states that the risotto with the braised short rib was $38 but they charged us $42. When I confronted them, they said the price was $42. At first, they would not compensate us until I said it was not fair that we are getting overcharged when it clearly says $38 on the menu. At the end, they took off $4, but I did not appreciate the way I was treated because it’s the restaurant mistake for printing the price wrong.

I had a decent time here, but there are some things that could use some work. Firstly, when we arrived, the crowd of people by the host’s area was insane. Most people were left waiting for their reservation for 10-15 minutes after the allotted time. When we got to our seat near the bar in the back, the area was very cramped. There were staff members and patrons walking back and forth all the time and I felt like I was in the way. The service was alright, kind of slow, but it was a busy night so that’s expected. I’d rate the food a 7/10 overall. The burrata was extremely underwhelming. The portions were way too small and it lacked any sort of creativity. The pappardelle alla bolognese redeemed itself, it was delicious and I could tell that the pasta was homemade. But they didn’t offer any Parmesan for it. The chocolate cake for dessert was also delicious.

Service was good, but everything else was pretty mediocre. The wine glasses were very dirty and no bread included which I feel is a must at any self-respecting Italian restaurant. The Burrata Caprese was fine. If bread had been a part of it I think that would've justified the price. I ordered a seafood pasta (forget the name) which was pretty basic and the shrimp / clams were a bit overcooked. I'm not an expert chef by any means, but I feel like I could do better at home. Overall, I was disappointed by the food quality and dirty wine glasses. I think there are plenty of other better options within the same price range.

Service and atmosphere was good. Food was okay but can be better. They have good wines and cocktails were average. The seafood pasta i ordered had no flavor. It tasted like they were already cooked and just out together. Thr ravioli was good

They let us in even though we weren't dressed super nice 😂, which seemed to be the case for most other customers. We sat for a bit before anyone got us water but once they made that first contact, we knew we were in good hands. The food was absolutely delicious. If I was a local, I would be back!

I really loved this restaurant. We had the arancini, gnocchi, spaghetti, and the fig mule and all of it was amazing. Added bonus was the prices weren’t awful either for the value of food we got. Definitely worth a visit! My only complaint was just how small the restaurant is in comparison to how many people are in there so it can be difficult to navigate, but this is completely overshadowed by the kindness of the employees and the amazing food. Easily 5 star place.

Amazing food and service! We got penne alla Rusa, ravioli alla nonna, and tagliatelle pesto. It was super yummy. We even got free Limencello shots by checking in on the app. Highly recommend this spot for some good authentic Italian food!

Honest review, just choose a different place.... Although the ambiance was nice, the service was extremely slow for a night that wasn't too busy. The drinks were good. I went with a group of people and we all got different things. The pappardelle with the bolognese sauce was so over cooked I legitimately only ate the sauce. The sauce with on the Alfredo pappardelle pasta was not a nice consistency and the noodles were under cooked. The calamari was fantastic, especially with those sauce pairings. The rigatoni was delicious! Yes, I try everyone's food lmao

Extremely underwhelming and disappointing. Placed an order for pickup on their website, received an order confirmation telling me to pick up one hour later, and when I arrived they had no record of my order. The hostess did apologize and said she can have it ready in 10 minutes. Finally got home with the food and was immediately unimpressed. We ordered the bread basket, Salami pizza, and spaghetti bolognese. You can see in the picture I took what a joke the "focaccia" bread basket was. The bolognese was mushy and flavorless. The Salami pizza wasn't any better. I've had better pizza from 7-Eleven.

I was so excited to try this place after having it on my list for years. I decided to go to the DuPont location because it was the closest to me. We decided to split a $82 lobster spaghetti. I was highly disappointed with the small portion size for the price. I know it was a holiday weekend but the food lacked flavor and small portion size for the price. Also, for a limited menu the food took forever. We also had the calamari which was also very small size. Only real positive was my skinny margarita as great. The bartender Luis was great.

We came for Sunday brunch and it was packed so a reservation is recommended. I got the smoked salmon omelette and the italiana. The omelette was decent, and was a little broken when it came to the table. The breakfast potatoes were good though, with the perfect crispy ratio. The Italiana was good, and you do get that slight taste of lychee which I enjoyed. Service was quite slow, and it took awhile to get a server's attention just because of how busy it was. Our server was sweet and friendly though. There is a Yelp-check in offer of a free limoncello shot for the table; our server wasn't sure if the restaurant was still honoring it but she gave it to us anyways. It wasn't a good limoncello shot but I appreciated our server for putting it for us. They offer a daily happy hour 4-7pm at the bar, and a all night happy hour Sunday and Monday 4-10pm at the bar. I would rate it a 3.75/4, rounding up to a 4/5.

Delicious. The place has a nice atmospheric vibe to it. Kinda looks like a spot you would find in Europe. My daughter and I wanted some lunch before my afternoon meetings so we decided to stop in to eat. She ordered the linguine pancetta and I ordered a beet salad. Simple enough right? So yummy!! I expected a chopped salad to be honest but it came out very authoritatively. The goat cheese was delicious in the salad. Her linguine was divine! Huge flavorful shrimp, pancetta and crab in a tomato sauce with linguine. Perfection. I loved it and we together devoured all of it. Happy hour started at 4 so we moved to the patio so that I could partake. I had three aperol sprintz and ended up calling it a night at 5:39 pm. LOL Definitely try this place.

We came here with a group for brunch on a Sunday. It was not too crowded but regardless probably best to make a reservation. We all decided to do the bottomless brunch and the waiter would just be around with a pitcher filling everyone's glasses up. I also got the eggs benedict which was all good. The place was lowkey but also a nice place to eat. I would go back for the brunch again.

Came through here seeking Italian food by Dupont Circle on a rainy Saturday. The restaurant ambiance is very pretty, and the service is fantastic! Our server had the most hospitable personality and a cheerful smile, and made sure our waters were always filled up. We got the following: Spaghetti Alle Vongole (Spaghetti with Clams) Bucatini alla Carbonara Lasagna The Spaghetti with Clams was a nice seafood pasta, the sauce was garlicy and had a slight salty brine-y flavor from the clams, mixed with the pasta and the clam meat was pretty tasty. I do wish that the sauce was a bit more saltier, and that the pasta was cooked a bit more al dente, as it was on the softer side for me. The Bucatini alla Carbonara was tasty, nice pecorino cheese flavor and a salty cured flavor from the guanciale, noodles were cooked better here than on my Spaghetti with clams. Lastly the lasagna had a delicious meat Bolognese sauce, very tasty dish! Sette Osteria is a solid option for Italian food in Dupont, and I definitely want to come back and try their happy hour deals for pizza!

Not sure I'd return based on my recent visit. Our large group had reservations well in advance. They were 1/2 hour late in seating us. Slightly apologetic, but not especially. At 30 minutes late? We could've recovered from this, but once seated, our server didn't come by for a while and when he did, he never addressed the group to welcome us, introduce himself, etc. He'd just quietly begin taking orders around the table. It was odd and felt a bit off. On the positive side, our food was fine. Two in our group ordered the pesto with shrimp which was a good dish. I tasted bites. I ordered the salmon. It was good, but pretty standard. When I'd asked our waiter for a recommendation between two dishes, he gave his opinion (order the salmon) without any reason why. The asparagus served with the salmon was fresh and well prepared, not cooked to death. Bread for the table is not included, it's an add-on appetizer. My son and I shared a small carafe of red wine sangria which was nice. Interior ambience is lively. It gets quite loud inside. There's nothing to absorb noise, which can make conversations more challenging. I might try again someday, but wouldn't rush back, that's for sure!

Visited Sette Osteria for brunch on Sunday - not a memorable experience but not awful. I did their $25 lunch menu (a starter, entre and dessert). The starter was a salad that was drenched in dressing, it was a little too much for my taste. The entre was a wonderful lasagna, really filling with a good ratio of sauce/cheese/meat. Finally the dessert was a panna cotta, a big portion for one person but definitely tasty and not too sweet. Service was efficient but left my table and I feeling unwanted. We were a table of 10 and payed on 1 tab, tipped 20% but after staying for a bit after finish to chat and catch up we felt the glares from staff. A friend tried to order shots for the table and the server told us they'd have to talk to someone and see... very odd interaction. Needless to say we decided to leave. The ambiance of sette was simple and clean, not very busy for a Sunday brunch/lunch hour. If you're in the area and looking for something to eat it's an option.

The spinach gnocchi is to die for. This is one the best gnocchis I have had in my life. The ambiance is wonderful it can get a little crowded on the weekends but all of our food was wonderful.

I really liked this place. The location was great with a nice outside area which is what attracted me to the location. The food was great but the service was even better. I definitely recommend this place if you're in the DC DuPont Circle area. I'll definitely be back soon because there's more things I wanna try on the menu

I had an OK lunch here with an old friend. I liked my fig mule cocktail, fennel soup and gnocchi with gorgonzola and walnuts, but my friend was not so happy with the lobster-stuffed ravioli -- he felt that the red sauce was too sweet, and it initially came without the garlic bread that the menu advertised. Our server initially denied that garlic bread was on the menu, but Larry insisted on seeing the menu (the garlic bread was one reason he ordered that dish, in fact) and, indeed, it was there. It came, but he found it disappointing. A bread came with the meal -- an interesting muffin shaped baked good with roasted cherry tomatos and olives. I found it a bit dry.

The service by Mauro/a was very attentive and sweet. I was so glad she was my server. This restaurant is located near DuPont, so the clientele and demographic will reflect that, but nonetheless the ambiance is decent. I didn't like how loud this restaurant got, but $20 for bottomless is unbeatable. I had the steak and eggs with rosemary fries, and it was amazing. I wouldn't come out of my way to come back here, but would revisit if in the area.

Sette Osteria is a solid American-Style Italian restaurant with lots of vegetarian options! A solid step up from Olive Garden but not the most authentic or best Italian you'll find. It is also reasonably priced for its location and quality of food. Great deal if you can catch happy hour that now runs 4pm to 7pm daily! My friends and I went for dinner on a Friday night and the restaurant was not super crowded, so though we made a reservation, it is probably not necessary. We shared the vegetarian pizza with cheese off the happy hour menu to share which was solid but nothing revolutionary, it had eggplant and zucchini for toppings. For our mains we had cacio e Pepe and the cannelloni de ricotta e spinachi. I really enjoyed Cannelloni, it came out piping hot and reminiscent of lasagna. The service was also solid, everything came out on time and our waiter also checked up on us to see if we wanted anything else off the happy hour even though it was a few minutes past 7! I would definitely recommend Sette Osteria for a casual dinner and happy hour. I'll definitely be back!

Italian restaurant with a sleek modern feel. Chicken park was pretty standard. Chicken had the right amount of breading with a cheese to sauce ration. Broccolini had a nice crisp. Pasta had a good amount of cheese and peppery flavors.

The service is great!!! The food is below average. We ordered the pear pizza, it came with three slices of pear and then just melted cheese. The happy hour food is very obviously happy hour sizes. The arancini is two very small balls with a splash of sauce. I'd go back for happy hour just prepared with what to expect.

AMAZING!!! Ambiance, service and of course the food! Wow! Incredible happy hour. My husband and I flew in on our anniversary and I was looking for a place like this with authentic fresh ingredients, aperol spritz and nice enough to dress up. Our waiter/bartender was very personable and offered tons of recommendations for our week here in Washington DC. The food was incredible and tasted fresh and delicious! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!

I wish I could rate the service separate from the food. Service was good, but food was closer to a 3 out of 5. Nothing was bad, but for Neapolitan I was expecting something different. The sauce seems a bit precooked. It didn't taste like vibrant fresh tomatoes. The crust itself was on the crunchy dry side, but I'm used to more of a chewier Neapolitan dough. Bottom was relatively pale. No leoparding or charr which probably on purpose. They do offer a small jar of parm and chili flakes (I didn't use). Consider sitting inside. A random person came up to us and was rude / interrupted our conversation then harassed us for a slice. In the end this person ended up just stealing a slice off our plate. We both tried not to escalate anything while he was shouting in our faces. This was at 4 pm not super late when you'd might expect things to get weird in that area. I like the that they are traditional style pizzas and the prices are really fair. Perhaps this is more of a place where you get drinks and get food to snack on opposed to a full on meal.

The Lasagna was delish. I went for the traditional and I was very happy with my choice. Def recomend the Lasagna.

I ate here for a quick sit down lunch with some family after exploring the farmers market that was down the street. All seating was outside because there was construction going on inside the building. It was a nice day out so it wasn't a problem. Service was a little on the slow side, but we didn't have any issues with our orders. I just got the margherita pizza for my lunch. My pizza was good, it had a nice thin crust and a good amount of melted mozzarella cheese. I do wish there was more basil on it, but it was still a tasty pizza. We all had a nice and simple lunch here after the farmers market.

Stopped in here for brunch while I was exploring Washington DC. When I went the inside was closed and only outdoor seating was available. They had plenty of shade on this hot day. They have a full breakfast, lunch, and dinner menu. I got one of their omelettes, the Granchio which featured crabmeat, shallots, and Monterey jack cheese. It was very good the food came out hot and we got fantastic service. I would go back and a great recommendation from me if you want a new place to go check out for brunch.

The food was pretty good. Everybody in my party got pasta, which seems to be their strength. Carbonara was excellent. Service was okay, but it was a really crowded Saturday night so things were somewhat slow, but staff was friendly.

Came here with a big group of girls and had the best time. The food and drinks were phenomenal, particularly the lobster ravioli special they were offering that evening. I can't wait to be back when the weather is warmer to enjoy the patio!

@setteosteria When your happy hour turns into dinner because the vibes are immaculate. Service was great and helpful with dessert cause we couldn't decide lol. White sangria: Refreshing and crisp w/fresh fruit. Pollo picatta: One of my favourite dishes, perfectly prepared and soooo tasty. 100% would order again. Bistecca di manzo: Another classic that was cooked to perfection wirh great portions. Ravioli Della nonna: This was such a treat, I love pumpkin/ squash ravioli and this one is very well made. The pasta itself was one of the best ones I've had in DC. Caccio e pepe: Another classic that's a great sharable. Linguine con pancetta e gamberi: A scrumptious seafood pasta and my favourite out of all the pasta we tried. I highly recommend it! Chocolate mousse: One of my go-to's for dessert, it was a great way to end our dinner without being too heavy. Tiramisu: We both agreed this was one of the best tiramusu we have had! It was insanely fluffy. Overall, not only was this a restaurant pretty but everything we had was delicious! The happy hour menu is fantastic, and I would definitely come here again for HH alone.

Was visiting the city and tried Sette Osteria. The restaurant looks just renovated and the decor is super nice. They have a wood oven and a super cool patio. We tried pizza margarita,burrata e prosciutto and penne spicy vodka :everything was very delicious. Service very good.We will definitely go back

Went here for my birthday brunch the weekend of pride. Scheduling my brunch was easy and the restaurant was very accommodating when I called multiple times to add more people. However, I wasn't aware until one of the last times I called that the reservation was outside due to construction, luckily it was covered. Brunch was good. They offer $20 bottomless mimosas, Bellinis, and apple cider but they were out of cider. They do let you switch between the two. Our full table was a little late to arrive but it took almost 40 minutes to even be offered drinks which I wish was quicker. However, we were not rushed and definitely went over our two hours. Brunch came with an entree and I got the Uovo Cotto. This was delicious. I also ordered a decaf americano which was good. Lastly, when the bill came, I realized the next day I was charged for an extra person for bottomless drinks (charged for 9 people but only 8 drank). I wish I noticed this when I was there. They also couldn't split the check in any way so it had to be put on one card which I wish we knew about in advance. Overall, I'd go back for the food but I don't think I'd do such a large party for brunch here.

Tourist trap. No atmosphere and average food. Long wait after ordering for ironically overcooked food.

wowwww this place was amazing. everything was perfect. the pasta was so fresh and the vibes of the restaurant were so fun for a friday night. our waitress was so attentive and i could not recommend this place enough!! you NEED to try this place

Supposedly they make the pasta here. Planned to order the spaghetti alle vongole dish but they were out of little clams. Instead I ordered the whole branzino, and it was good, as were the vegetables and asparagus. Even if the plate looked uninspired. The tiramisu was terrible, but tasted better the second day. So I'm not sure if I would order this for eating in the restaurant - maybe just take-out. The service was unfortunately extremely slow and often non-existent.

Sette Osteria went above and beyond to help us host a large family/friend celebration. The staff was responsive ahead of time while planning the dinner, and we were able to reserve a private area that was the perfect space for us. The servers were excellent and the food was delicious! Thank you Sette Osteria for having us!

Wonderful experience from beginning to end. We had a large group to celebrate a very special event and the team at Sette Osteria in Dupont were very accommodating and went above and beyond to ensure our experience was exceptional. Kudos to the manager (young lady, didn't catch her name) who was on top of everything and continued to check on us to see if we had everything we needed. Highly recommended.

Went for dinner with family. This is one of the better places in DuPont for outdoor dining. The night was perfect for it. This is a casual Italian restaurant that focuses on pizza and pasta. They have some other options but they make in-house pasta and the have a wood burning oven for the pizza. Unfortunately they do not have gluten-free options for the pizza but they do for the pasta. Overall the food is good but is not amazing. It just basically what you would expect for Italian food and no major frills. The best thing of course is the outdoor dining space. I had gluten free penne arabiata with shrimp. When it came out there was no shrimp so I had to send it back but they did fix the situation. My niece order a different pasta dish for which they brought out two. Mom and friend ordered margarita pizzas which both said was very good. Bottom line, although the server was very nice, there some basic problems with delivery. This is probably a 3.5 review, but I went with 4 because of the outdoor space and the great time we had.

Food was very good. I had the bolognese with homemade pasta. The sauce and the pasta were delicious. The food was still hot when it was delivered. I also got the salad with beets and goat cheese, also delicious and well dressed. The only reason not five stars is the food was delivered to a hotel which should have led the person who packed the items to put in napkins, forks, etc. in addition the bag was not sealed in any way, meaning the carrier bag was not tied, stapled with a receipt or anything. I didn't like that, however I still ate it. Just an additionally courtesy of utensils and a secure bag would've gotten them a five star review.

This place is a travesty. I'm an Italian citizen, first thing not an Italian in site working there. The place was empty and the hostess sat us at the worst table. I simply said, "no" and walked to a better table (I had many choices). Drinks took forever and the pasta came out 30 seconds after ordering (hot and tasting like it had been in the microwave), mediocre carbonara. Then they rushed us out because they wanted to go home. Not one single person including the manager and the cook took any pride in their work. You'd have a better experience eating in any truck stop in Italy.

Good food and great service! Highly recommend the calamari. Portion sizes are bigger than shown in their online menu.

Delicious desserts! Great place to go for a birthday brunch. Our mimosas were never empty.

First time here and really enjoyed it! Sette accommodated our group of 15 with no trouble (we had a reservation). We were seated in the middle of the room and they opened the sliding glass door for some nice air movement. The staff were great with getting drink orders, filling water glasses, and pacing the meal. The pumpkin ravioli was good too!

My coworker and I are in D.C. for a work event. We decided to come here for dinner. We're so glad we did! Chris, the manager, was so nice! Our bartender John was attentive, knowledgeable, and really nice! I'm from Boston so I'm really picky about my food and service. However, I would come back here and recommend it to everyone. Chris provided great food and drink suggestions and the food we got (calamari, bucatini alla russa, broccolini, mista salad, tiramisu and chocolate gelato) were all great! I would definitely recommend this place!

First time at this restaurant. We were early diners 5 PM with an open table reservation for outside dining. Area totally empty with over 25 tables set up. There were only 2 tables designated for a couple. (Slightly discriminatory) These tables were incredibly small. No Italian or any customer who sits down to enjoy a meal has only the space to have one plate in front of them. Bread basket was Pita Bread. No ITALIAN restaurant should ever serve Pita bread which was dry and burnt. The salad and meal were tasty but some attention should be given to the comfort of the diner. The staff were pleasant but should have made more of an effort to address the concerns of the customers which were noted to them. I tip generously, perhaps, to give a message!!

Food was mediocre. My order was delayed...the entree came out first (eggplant parmesean) ...I asked the manager what happened to my mussells and she immediately apologized and had the entree taken back..the mussells arrived, however they were luke warm...my guess is they ad been sitting at the serving line. The entree returned to the table immediately after the mussells. When the manager asked how my meal was I was honest and said I was disappointed that the reviews did not live up to my experience. The eggplant was bland. The manager again apologized and applied a credit to my bill. With all the choices for italian food in Dupont Circle I'd think twice about returning to Sette Osteria

I am not sure why this restaurant has bad reviews. I had an excellent experience here! Sure the pizza oven might have not been working the day I came, but there's plenty of menu choices for people to enjoy including tons of pastas... and homemade pasta, my favorite! I came during a weekend with lots of snow, and I was really cozy inside because they placed space heaters inside. I found to be delicious. I usually make my own pasta homemade by hand, and this definitely had that bite that homemade pasta typically has. The red sauce was flavored so well; but it paired nicely with the red pepper flakes and Parmesan they gave us as an optional topping. The server told me the Scialatelli was a solid option compared to the gnocchi. I took his advice and it was honestly a great choice. I loved the mozzarella and the eggplant. I can't wait to eat my leftovers! We finished dinner with the Affagato. It was a great creamy gelato with espresso. It was warm enough to be good in the cold of winter but not too hot that the gelato melted all the way. I will definitely be coming back when it's warmer to sit outside and enjoy some more homemade pasta.

The service was absolutely abysmal, from the servers' careless attitude to receiving little more than a drink for bottomless. I strongly advise against visiting this place. We were served one and a half glasses of mimosa for a supposedly bottomless option. To make matters worse, our waiter seemed more preoccupied with chatting on the phone than attending to our needs. It's unacceptable to receive such negligent service.

Chris was so fantastic we loved him so much. Food was great and the deals for brunch were worth it

Food made me feel like I was in Italy. The service was great. The ambiance is really nothing special but it is nice. And food came out fast.

Amazing food with a warm ambience. We stopped in for lunch while visiting town and would definitely come back again!

Update: Wow. In response to my review below and attached, the owner decided to make up an alternate (absolutely false) story. For the record, we were not provided any accommodation, we didn't speak to a manager, and we DEFINITELY showed up at 5:45pm. I checked my phone as we walked away and it said 5:45. ### We live nearby and wanted to try this place for happy hour on their patio. We showed up at 5:45 exactly, asked to get HH on the patio, and the host told us no. (The sign displayed outside clearly states that HH is served on the patio until 6pm.)

Ever had an insatiable desire for pasta, but all the restaurants you want to go to are closed until dinner? Well, if you find yourself in this pickle and desperately searching for a substitute spot, here's a suggestion: head to your local grocery store, grab a can of Chef Boyardee, and toss that bad boy into a lava pit. Voilà! You'll save yourself from the agony and misery of dining at this place (not to mention saving some serious dough). Now, let's dive into the absurdity of the service at this joint. You walk in, eagerly awaiting someone to acknowledge your existence as a fellow human being. Finally, you get seated, but then endure a solid ten-minute wait. At long last, someone shows up and asks if you'd like water. Little did you know, that might be the last you ever see of them (hopefully they're alive and well, though). Another person arrives, sweating profusely as if they just ran a marathon in a sauna. You start wondering if their sweat will add an unexpected flavor dimension to your food. They ask if you want water again, and you can't help but ponder if they'll send yet another water representative in five to ten minutes. Is the water source located 100 miles away? Are you trapped in a Groundhog Day-style time loop? You decide to order the water again, along with some bread for the table, and the server declares that it'll cost you a whopping $4.99 (because, you know, our tattoos must make it appear that might be too steep a cost for us). We also order a Spicy Passionfruit Margarita (which, let's be honest, tastes like it was concocted by a desperate mixologist using ingredients salvaged from a post-apocalyptic bar). After what seems like an eternity, the server returns with water and bread. They take our order for the main course, casually plopping the bread on the table without any oil, balsamic, or even a hint of effort to make it more enjoyable. Starving, you start devouring the bread at the speed of light, desperately craving something to help it go down easier. You ask for oil, balsamic, butter--heck, anything to alleviate the dryness of the bread. Finally, the server brings you some oil and disappears. You spot her at an empty table, so you summon the courage to ask for balsamic once again. To your surprise, she returns with a tray of ancient, funky Parmesan cheese (your boyfriend claims it tasted like a campfire) and some chili flakes. Undeterred, you persist and request balsamic once more. This time, it takes a solid ten-minute ordeal, as if they were squeezing the vinegar from grapes right there in the kitchen. Just as you're cracking open one of these bread balls, horror strikes--a hair! You try to convince yourself it might be your own, given your dark hair color, but deep down, you know it's baked into the bread. How many hairs did you unknowingly munch on? Cue the gag reflex and tears. Suddenly, the food arrives at an alarming speed. But where, oh where, is your beloved Margarita? You search high and low, but it's nowhere to be found. Turns out, Chef Mic** didn't bother with temperature control, as your dish seems to have taken a detour through the gates of hell (although, miraculously, the shrimp managed to defrost--those "bad boys" must have gone through a questionable microwave ritual that lasted a mere 25 seconds, without anyone bothering to look or taste the shrimp beforehand). Once my Linguini was at a temp I could put in my mouth without disintegrating my tongue, I was able to taste the flavor. Now, the taste can only be likened to that of a Vintage Chef Boyardee. Perhaps from someones private collection. Noodles were completely obliterated... 1 second away from mush. The sauce was closer to orange than red... and again tasted like it plopped out of a can, salt? pepper? herbs? HA no way. My poor BF ordered something with shrimp and he was so hungry he actually ate it all... but got a terrible stomach ache after....it lasted well into the evening. Also, again HOLY CoW the service.... we waited a combined 20 mins for the bill to be dropped and picked up.... **incase you were wondering "Chef Mic" is a microwave

Sunday brunch: Service--poor. Food--bad. We were seated quickly but it took a long time for our server to take our order and get our food. What was weird was that our food came out 15 minutes apart. I'm quite sure they forgot one of our orders. The Eggs Benedict, which came out first, which was over cooked and the egg was soft boiled rather than poached. No flowing egg yolk. The ham omelet came out second, a 15 minutes after the eggs benedict. The omelet was a rush job because we had to follow up twice and none of the ingredients were cooked thoroughly when it was finally served. Even the thin sheet of cheese inside the omelet was solid, meaning that the omelet didn't even stay on heat long enough to melt. We didn't finish either of the dishes and getting the check wasn't easy.