David S.
Yelp
One of the many things I love about the Skylark is the fact that no matter what I end up paying for drinks, I always get quarters back.
Now, I appreciate this for a whole host of reasons. Quarters mean more to me than just twenty-five cents. Partially for no other reason than just 'cause- like how I have a thing for five dollar bills. Another, more practical reason is due to my condo building having shared Washers & Dryers, which take quarters, and it's a scramble sometimes to make sure I have change to ensure clean britches.
However, when I am at the Skylark, my rationale for receiving and using quarters is rarely as practical as the reasons above. Usually, my reasons are much more juvenile, but I'll get to that later.
Last Friday I went to the Skylark with a handful of friends for some drinks and to see the Hollyfelds (one of my new favorite Denver bands). Their songs have great harmonies, their music changes tempo, is intricate in a really subtle way, and all their songs are about heartbreak, spite, and boozin. For me, a handful of the right friends, drinkin music, and the Skylark are basically the equivalent of the stars aligning, but with booze.
After a couple orders of High Life with a bourbon chaser (yeah you heard me right), I was already working on a fistful of quarters. By the way, they no longer carry my middle of the road bourbon of choice, Bulleit, but the barkeep made an excellent suggestion that I forget. Anyway, I was in the mood to wander, and at this point I realized I have never been upstairs here. Do I always get so sidetracked? So, I make it upstairs with my friend Sheila, and we realize the upstairs is super cool. There is a whole other bar up there, and some gorgeous pool tables that made me hearken back to my college pool playing days. We also watched Dara Torres make her unbelievable swimming comeback, how amazing is she?
After heading back downstairs and ordering another beer and shot, I start to realize some things. First, I don't come to the Skylark enough. Second, I have a decent buzz going (hiccup). Third, I swear I recognize that girl from Yelp, do I say anything? Nah, I don't want to be "that guy". Fourth, it's time to break the seal.
Strangely enough, in the bathroom is where these quarters manifest their destiny, and get your mind out of the gutter. The Skylark has the best collection of adult vending machines that I know of. There are at least six different machines that offer everything from glow in the dark condoms, to cheapo skin pics, to french ticklers. With my allotment of quarters, I decide to go with a cheapo skin pic (some weird topless cheerleader from the 70s thing that the gang was a big fan of), and my all time fave, the coc.. uh I mean male chicken that sometimes fight... ring. Those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about can move on. Those who know what I'm talking about may appreciate my somewhat mischievous practice of putting them on doorknobs (sorry Sheila, but it was like 4:30 am, and FUNNY).
Well, in addition to enabling my immature jokes, the night continued with The Hollyfelds rocking the house, more High Life, more bartender suggestions, more fun with friends, and more times I thought about talking to that girl that I may recognize from Yelp, but deciding to leave her well alone.
What's the moral of this review? First of all, yes reviews can have morals. Aside from that, the Skylark is a classic place that combines atmosphere, personality, great crowd (other Yelpers), great bands (The Hollyfelds), cheap cover charges for great bands ($5), bartenders with great suggestions, and of course really immature ways to spend laundry money. What more can a person want? Seriously!