Ted's Hideaway

Lovely dive bar! Bartender was attentive and friendly and the food was absolutely delicious. Only going to be in town for two days but will be back before I leave.

The service was so great but having a good service didn't compensate the rest. The whole place was so dirty and look old. The wall were dirty as hell, they were supposed to be white and the look grey because of the dust. Spiderwebs were everywhere on the ceiling. The restroom, even if they have a concept of a old pub... We're dirty. The tables and chairs we ripped. It could be better. Seriously but you cannot comeback to a place that doesn't care about they look

Another top dive bar in South Beach. Worth a visit, reasonable prices and top chicken wings aswell as dirty chilli cheese fries. Plenty of sport to watch and ice cold beers. Decent juke box and top class service, the ladies who serve behind the bar work there socks off.

Great dive bar and bartender. Any bar where the bartenders partner walks in with the cutest dog in the world is ok with me. The tacos and street corn were total fire 100 % recommend. Definitely not fancy, but neither are we!!!

I went at midnight on a Sunday night in mid-August and it was quite a joke, the pizza for $13 was laughable, ~$10 for a single 16oz draft of IPA was a ripoff, the atmosphere & women quality (and quantity) was almost zero, the waitresses were nice & competent enough, but this was nowhere near worth $40 for two beers & an embarrassment of an excuse for a small thin crust pizza (maybe worth $20-25 total at best after tip). Would not recommend to anyone who cares about their money or time, cannot blame the front of house staff for any of the shortcomings, as they seemed to care enough despite seemingly knowing what I had just outlined in this review. There is certainly a deceptively high google rating for this establishment; and it is best to stay away, so I feel obligated to bring it down a peg by awarding it with this two star review. Do yourself a favor and eat elsewhere, and proceed to drink at The Scapegoat which is closeby, one of the best bars I'd ever visited, if you decide to take this advice, it's from a local guide; and I'm not even a local in this area (DFW/TX is where I reside).

One of the nicest sports bar I have been too. We went there to watch Manchester United game and they accommodated our request to screen it. Ollie was super amazing and she was so sweet. The food was amazing too! I am surely coming back.

This was probably the second worst meal of my life. Burger was too salty to eat. Chili cheese fries tasted like a salt lick. I like salt. But I could not handle this place. It may be good for a beer and hangout, but do not eat here!!!!

Would not go back again the food was not enjoyable over price. The service was very rushed and very rude. Would not go back again.

Stopped in for a drink and a quick bite. we were greeted by a vary friendly bartender, Vanessa. We ordered wings and drinks. Wings were very good and the drinks were cold. It was early afternoon so the place was quiet. It is exactly what we were looking for. Vanessa gave us some great recommendations in the area. Definitely a great spot to grab a drink and some food. Thanks again Vanessa, and GO PATS!!! lol

Love the place. Best thing about it is the service and the fact that you don't remember being there. My Sharona!!!

This is the worst dive bar in south Florida. During the day it is not so bad but as the sunsets everyone employed except a couple new bartenders become angry drunks. Like physically get in your face and scream drunk. Its sad to see a gem go to complete trash because of a few bad eggs in control this place was always a place in the neighborhood to meet locals and get a beer now you get yelled at or treated like your annoying the staff with you being there and A BUDWEISER COST $6.50 lol. Might as well get better beer quality, and ambience at scapegoat or mini bar. It's the same price as anyways just without the pool table.

If you want a complete dive this is it! Lots of tvs great to watch sports. Beautiful bartenders and great service. Cheap bar food and a place to watch local game.

We walked and walked and were thirsty and happened upon this place. The soccer match was on so the bar was full. Our first seats at the bar surprised us with a dripping/leaky rusty vent from the ceiling. We moved to two other seats at the bar which were better. We weren't impressed. Bartenders were not friendly. People were not friendly. The rust on my jersey isn't cool. Definitely would not return. It may be a hideaway but it needs cleaned up.

Fun, locals... no headaches! Good people Great was recommended to us and it was a lot of fun. Bartenders were great and a lot of fun. Just saw around good place but locals only and only if you like dive bars that are fun.

Classic dive bar with pool table right off Ocean. Been coming here for MANY years and it always hits the spot. Waitresses are apathetic, look bored & are on the verge of rude but I guess it fits? In any case, came in recently & spent a great afternoon drinking, listening to music (you gotta pay the "juke box" or else they'll just show sports games. blech!) & playing pool. Super fun after a morning spent tanning & swimming.

greatest bar in Miami. Ollie the bartender is awesome! if your looking for a relaxing bar with great people, this is your place! so chill and laid back.

Perfect local dive bar. Cant ask for much else. Cheap drinks, good service, friendly customers to chat it up with, jukebox, pool table. And within walking distance from south beach. Spent a few hours of my day off here, and was able to make friends with a few locals and get restaurant recommendations.

This "dive bar" charged us $67 for 4 Casamigos tequila shots. Definitely did not expect to pay $17 a shot at a dive bar. We went to much nicer establishments that did not charge that. Visiting from CA we expected it to be expensive, but at a dive bar where water is dripping from a vent in the ceiling, we did not expect that. Do not recommend.

Came on a Friday afternoon around 6, 7pm and it was pretty empty. They said happy hour is 12-8pm! Dive bar vibe and def a lot cheaper than other places in South Beach area. Plenty of TVs steaming different sports. Ordered a mojito which was a double mojito ($13) and asked about a piña colada which wasn't on the menu. Server was nice enough to make one for me anyway! (Not sure if they'd usually do it had it not been for an empty bar) Drinks were heavy handed too

Carolina is super friendly and professional. Top service with a smile. Highly recommend Ted's and will be back.

This was a fun bar. We arrived at our hotel after midnight and the security guard suggested this place. Honestly there was no other choice at this time of night. But it was fantastic. From the street you wouldn't even know anything was going on behind the doors. Once you get inside though it is a hub of activity. People watching was definitely are entertainment for the next hour. There were some working girls in there, but there were also some guys playing some serious pool, I love watching good players on the table, so it was legit fun. We had tacos and a quesadilla and the tacos were really good, The quesadilla was decent. Would have been better with more salsa. The working girls were definitely interesting. We might go back again tonight just for the hell of it.

This dive bar extraordinaire is one of the great spots on South Beach. I've been to the Deuce before which is extra divey so dare I say Ted's is a step up in class. We came from a cocktail bar where two of us each had one drink. Here we had 3 drinks each and the tab was the same! We were on the earlier side of a Thursday night so we snagged a couple seats on the far side of the bar, but I bet this place gets packed in the later hours.

Have to give Ted's 5 stars even though it's a dive, bathrooms aren't the cleanest, people could get drunk and rowdy, and if you play pool get ready to throw down, however, it's a vibe. It's exactly the bar you think it is but with a very pleasant surprise, the food is fire!!! Best chicken fingers on the beach! The hot dogs are fire the quesadillas are fire. The food is literally just bar food but so good. Love it here and great for any sporting events.

Love Ted's! Bar tender was so nice and drinks were solid. The ambiance is very much a dark, dive bar but don't be deterred by that! Much more reasonably priced than other Miami bars.

DO NOT GO IF YOU ARE NOT A LOCAL. Was treated with so much disrespect. The food took an hour and a half to come. Each time we asked for a drink or condiments we were greeted with an eye roll and extreme rudeness. The staff treated some customers with 5 star service and others with what I wouldn't even consider 1 star service. I felt uncomfortable asking for more drinks and even the check. Our table was completely ignored for the 2 HOURS that we were in there for. If you are not a local then this place is not for you. I frequent Miami often and this will be the last time I even go near this place. The fact that i have to tip the waitresses that were working is a disgrace and I hope that nobody has to deal with that type of service again.

Old school tavern with tons of big TV's and good service. Pretty simple dive with a good selection of bar foods, and they have YuengLing!

Been going to south beach for many years. Hit all the clubs, eat at a great restaurant, end your night with cold beers, great bartenders and no pretense at Ted's. The perfect ending to an long night out.

Approximately 1 chicken finger .6 chicken finger .26 chicken finger Pile of wacked burnt mess fries Glad I tipped max fir this weak bs Thanks guys !

Awful service. Incredibly grimes. Bartenders are there to try and get food from old men and everyone else is creepy.

This at the bottom of South Beach around the corner from the southern end of infamous Ocean Drive. It's a dive bar and it looks like one for sure The place is a chill spot and it has a decent selection of beers at a moderate price. I ordered a mojito and was definitely disappointed as it was by far the worst cocktail I've had on my Miami trip. It was absolutely weak and had more ice than alcohol. I am a light drinker and I killed this drink in a minute and felt no buzz from this at all. Pathetic and it was $14 bucks The bathroom is the most revealing characteristic of this place. Like most dive bars, it is in ruin and has graffiti everywhere. Nonetheless, there was hand soap in the dispenser so kudos for hygiene. I would recommend this place as a chill spot to converse and have moderately priced beers (~$6). Stay away from the cocktails as they are the same pricing as the rest of ocean drive but are absolute crap in quality.

Good food, good drinks. It's definitely hidden and east to miss if you don't know where it's located.

Yes it's kind of dirty Yes the bathrooms are terrible Yes the service is sometimes spot on and mostly off Yes the food kinda sucks BUT This is the best old school bar I've been to in a long time Drinks are cheap Beer is cold Millionaires to Homeless mingle Last of a dying breed - we hope Teds is around forever!!!!

Although it's nice to be able to go to bars again, I'd probably prefer to go to bar closer to home. Teds a must do atleast once when in Miami Beach if you're into dive bars. I remember it being more divey. It had more of a sports bar feel this time around. Bartender did a good job with the amount of customers she had.

The bartender Brittany & manager Poxy were awesome !! Great service, they made us feel at home ! Awesome spot to watch the game ! Thank you for a great time ladies !! - your Chicago friends

Love Ted's. It's super chill with great drink specials, awesome service and good a/c during those hot, humid Miami days. It's a very cool neighborhood bar and I really appreciate that they are taking the restaurant guidelines during COVID very seriously. Makes you feel safe and shows that they are concerned about the safety of all which I really appreciate after seeing some places that didn't care at all. Thank you, Ted's Hideaway.

Best Dive in Miami No draft beer in our hotel (Savoy) hence the hunt for a good local dive with atmosphere, enter "Teds Hideaway". A locals hangout open from midday to 5am and in addition has pool table, TV's, large bar, no intelectual conversation that I heard, inexpensive drinks and very attractive bar staff. A great place to grab a drink far away from the pretentious set on South Beach. Thanks

We had a great college football Saturday experience at the bar. Cold beers and surprisingly good wings! The two bartenders seemed to be doing everything from bar service to cooking but you wouldn't know it.

I loved the place. Really cute old school bar! It fills up really fast on the weekends. Very reasonably priced and they have amazing happy hours. Definitely try the wings there. I loved the chilly garlic ones.

With all the high end dinning surrounding Ted's this place is one of the best home away from home dive bars there is. Make sure you say hello to Liv she rocks!

I loved this place. The prices were fantastic, the atmosphere was relaxed and the staff was friendly.

Ted's Hideaway is the classic American dive bar. Sports on the TVs, popular American music playing, a seemingly local clientele, waitresses who are polite and attentive but nothing over the top, cheap drinks, and typical bar food. If you like specialty cocktails and wine, this isn't the place for you, as their menu only features beer and cider. They'll make you a mixed drink but keep it simple (margarita, jack and coke, Moscow mule, etc.)

Ted's The land of milk and honey for creatures to come alive in a place so glorious that both men and boys enjoy the warmth that is brought to you by the South Beach air! Ted's hideaway will take you on an adventure back in time where politics did not play on what you could do in the bar, rather what the bar could do for you! The smell is glorious the the faint at heart and the ambiance of love, sex, and fun float through the air like a feather plucked from the eagles back! We all come to Ted's not to be judged but to enjoy the price and taste of what America was built upon! Ted's never disappoints because both local and visitor go to drink cold, crisp, refreshing drinks that are brought to you by some of Miamis finest! The menu may seem big, but the price you pay is worth every penny! When visiting Miami and wanting a night to remember head to Ted's, you won't be disappointed!

First time coming- pool table, good drink prices. Lots of TVs for sports if that's your thing.

Hit this place last night. Servers are cute and friendly. They ask what you want and how uou want it then off they go. I had the shrimp basket and I have to say I was fantastically surprised. For the price point I half expected super market frozen shrimp and what I got in return was delightful. The shrimp tasted fresh and just like your cocktails, you are given generous portions.

The name is certainly fitting, as it is "hidden away" from the usual glamour of South Beach. However, it hits the spot for a laid back Saturday night watching sports! I stopped by Ted's on Paul W.'s "Impromptu Hockey Night" UYE (sorry about the Penguins :() and walked in to an awesome mash-up of 90's Rock and Hip-Hop (such as Linkin Park and Jay-Z) and familiar Yelper faces. Suddenly, hazy memories of a pub crawl past came flowing back as smoothly as the Stellas I enjoyed (including one with an orange slice!) and lovely lady bartenders in short shorts. There were also plenty of TV's to watch said hockey game as well as the Heat come back for a win. They also have Jager on tap! I can see this as a future celebration spot.... With plenty of tagging , band stickers and a dysfunctional towel dispenser the bathroom called out dive bar, along with the classic red brick wall. The non-Yelp crowd was pretty eclectic, and complemented our conversations to make for a fun and relaxed Saturday evening. I look forward to coming back!

Service was ok but after ordering a budget and fries for lunch or also came with bugs. Almost barfed it back up. We left immediately and will never go back. Owner was there and did nothing different seem to care.

Always a favorite spot to chill. I've never been and had this place be empty or result in a poor night. There's always a fun mix of people, including locals, both long and short term, visitors, all with one thing in common: let's have fun, get drunk and enjoy!! If you're visiting from out of town go to Teds and eat at Big Pink after!!!

If you are looking for a dive bar with the authentic beach dive bar feel, this place is fine. If are looking for the best burger in Miami..... this is your spot!!! The food here is outstanding. The burger is amazing.

This is a fun no-frills bar. Drank a few pitchers here while watching CFB before heading to a restaurant in the area. Attracted a great crowd that night and the bar staff knew how to take care of us. Would not hesitate to return. Most people visit Miami to get away. Look no further than Ted's if you ever feel the need to get away from Miami.

This bar allows smoking indoors which is a big turn off for me when going out. There wasn't very good air ventilation which made it worse because I was inhaling second hand smoke the entire time. I've been to other dive bars in Miami before and they generally reserve smoking for outdoors only. On the plus side the drinks were very inexpensive especially for South Beach. I would've given a 1 star rating if it weren't for the great deal for drinks that they have. Unfortunately, due to the smoking I won't be coming here again.

We actually came here to order food, sat down at a table and was ignored for 20 minutes until the bar maid finally appeared and said she was the only one working. We ended up skipping the food since it would have probably taken forever to get to us. Personally, I thought this place was extremely dirty. The chairs were peeling apart, the floor was filthy. There was someone's old cup still sitting at our table so obviously the tables aren't wiped off when someone leaves. Boyfriend ordered a beer just to be polite, and we ended up leaving right after.

Definitely a chill spot with a great bar. TVs, juke box, drinks and pool! I am visiting for art basel and came here for all of the above reasons and was not disappointed. But what made my entire night was my amazing server Milica! She was attentive, polite and just an amazing asset to the night. A server can make or break the night and I appreciate her mannerisms, attentiveness and overall just being!! I ordered the mozzarella sticks and my uncle got some mini sandwiches or something..either way we both crushed. He ordered two mojitos, I ordered one of the drinks that had gin in it and a shot of jameson.. prices were reasonable. Only problem issss was I was there for over an hour and paid to hear my song on the juke box and never heard it! Maybe I wasn't there long enough... But other than that it was perfect. Great service- THANKS MILICA. Also, while we were there someone threw up on the floor and they cleaned it up immediately...perf. Great people, great aura. We found parking fairly easily but I could see how it may be a struggle because of the area. I would definitely recommend this place if you're trying to go out and chill and have a drink surrounded by cool people.

WOW!! incredible experience it was walking into Ted's! Located just off the beach at 2nd and ocean you will find not only the best service (ask for Sam)! But the frozen "Henessey margarita" is out of this world!!! Lovey staff and even better frozen cocktails.

Had an incredible time at this neighborhood bar. The staff was welcoming and made us feel at home. Kudos especially to the best bartender in South Beach, Christina!

Ted's is a laid back neighborhood bar with inexpensive beer, greasy food, and lots of sports. If you're looking for a chill place to watch a sports game or to pregame a dinner then Ted's is the bar for you. The women who work here are amazing!

Oh! sweet glorious Ted. Why did it take me so long to fall into your warm embrace? Like a lost child on a hot south beach night, you took me in, nurtured me, and made me one of your own. There must be some reason why they call this place the "Hideaway." Perhaps it is for those who wish to remain unseen by the normal folk - the daywalkers not shunned by society for their failure to conform. Or maybe it materialized as a last refuge for the lost ones. Those seeking to evade the overwhelming glamour, pricing, and debauchery of Ocean Drive. I for one see the Hideaway as a sort of cosmic melting pot. A place where 10 a.m. feels like midnight and every drunk and disorderly patron is a wisened sage. Where the nicotine-filled air floats above the pool table like fog rolling over a green meadow. And the sticky, booze-soaked bar top glistens like polished mahogany. Yes, my friends. We've all been to this place before. Either during a recent visit to Miami or in some long-forgotten, distant dream of yesteryear. I don't need to review the menu or drink list because, quite frankly, you'll order exactly what you want every time. And it will be cold, refreshing, cheap, and glorious. The nectar of the gods, brought down from Mount Olympus by Mister Ted himself for our enjoyment. Hopefully we shall meet again sometime, Ted. But until then, cheers.

Harats on 13th & Washinton has FREE pool on 2 tables , half price drinks all day, better food and a much nicer/cleaner atmosphere...a 10 min walk...if you are tired of getting ripped off at Teds.